#He's asleep and I don't want to go out in London alone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maybankslover · 1 year ago

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so long, london- the third part

drew starkey x fem!reader

warnings: angst, fluff, breakup, mention of infidelity, sexual themes, mental health issues, mention of pregnancy, mention of infertility. sexual themes and innuendos. most of them don't happen but they're mentioned.

summary: she's an actress and a singer, he's an actor. coworkers that fell in love until it fell apart. now everything is gone but how did it disappear?

a/n: odessa a'zion is made the antagonist in this story. hateful comments aren't allowed, it's just for the plot.

[the face and hair color of reader changes depending on the picture i need for the instagram posts! anyone can imagine how their reader looks, it isn't a designated actress or singer for this fic]

moodboard

series masterlist

as she awaken, the distant sunlight that intruded through the closed curtains and the familiar arm laying across her stomach turned the morning into one she had been longing since the first night she spent alone. the lingering memory in her body of the ache in her chest and the sobbing out of control the morning she woke up in her best friend's house next to a cold side of the bed.

the clock on her bedside table told her it was nine a.m.

she let her hand get on top of his, drew tightened the hold he had her in but his breathing stayed the same, he was still asleep. her sight set on his face and chest, legs hidden under the duvet. they still loved eachother but she still wondered when he fell out of love, everything he did were things someone can only do when they aren't in love anymore.

they never had what everyone calls a 'one last chat'. she was tired of trying, of trying to get him to listen to her, to see her so she detatched herself from their relationship and he never asked for one before she packed her things and left.

last night was impulsive but she didn't regret it. half an hour later drew started to stir up.

"mornin'" she said.

"mornin' sweetheart." he turned his face to kiss her forehead with eyes still closed.

they stayed like that for a few minutes.

"do you want breakfast?" she asked.

"yeah." he opened his eyes tilting his head down to place a kiss on her lips.

drew stayed in bed while she showered then watched as she changed and did her normal morning rutine.

"use the shower if you want. i left you some clothes on top of the marble." she says taking her phone and walking out of the room.

twenty-five minutes later they sat at her kitchen table, fresh cut fruit, toast and tea in front of them. after a bit of small talk about how their family's were doing both of them had kept up with the other's family but they didn't have anything else to make small talk about until the real conversation started.

"did she really sent you death threats?" he asked.

"no, i was actually lying." she responded in a sarcastic tone. "you didn't believe me when i told you she was a crazy, obssesive and jealous, turns out i was right. as always." she smirks. "did you talk to her?"

"yeah, hadn't in a while actually. she thought i was reaching out to become friends again." he gives her his open cell. "you were right."

"on what?" she takes the phone and reads their conversation down from the time the relationship ended.

"she's in love with me." she chuckles.

"don't act as if you didn't know, you loved the attention your little 'dessa' gave you." she crosses her arms. "did you fuck her?" he nods no.

"it wasn't like that, we've talked about this. she wasn't like that for me." he sighs.

"sorry for asking about someone you used to ditch me for." she rolls her eyes. "at the end you cared more about being there for her than being there for me."

"don't be rude, i care about you more than i've ever cared about everyone else." he exclaimed.

"i'm not rude. i'm giving you the facts." she gave him back his phone and from his expression she knew what he was going to ask.

"who're you fucking?" he bit his inner cheek.

"you won't like the answer." she looks at his expression turn sour.

"try me." he takes a sip of his tea.

she giggles before telling him. "sam cafflin."

he stays silent.

"i told you, you wouldn't like the answer. i'm not anymore tho, his life got a bit complicated with his kids and everything." she shruggres her shoulders. "i don't know why i'm telling you this i don't owe you any explanation."

she stands up starting to clean the table.

"someone else apart from him?" why did he continue to ask she wondered.

"drew."

"tell me." he forrowed his eyebrows.

"dylan o'brien. he has a girlfriend now." she looks at him. "you're going to tell me, you didn't fucked anyone else in the past six months?"

"i did but not anyone we know, you worked with dylan last year!"

"and what it has to do with anything?" she puts the plate she had picked up down in the table again. "we both know i didn't cheat on you that i didn't give you any reason for you to think that. don't be a hypocrite, she was your fucking coworker too and we know what happened, you let it happen." she points at him in an angry mannerism before picking the things back up and turning around.

drew is about to speak up but she starts talking again.

"what's done is done and we can't go back in time. you made your decisions and i made mine and here we are." she turns her head to look at him for a moment before looking to her task again. "it's been over for a while. it was already over while we were still together."

he didn't answer, instead he got up and hugged her from behind making her to try to free herself from his hold but he tightened it and she gave up letting her head fall back into his shoulder.

"i know that. i know but" she interrupts him.

"there's no but."

"yes there is if you weren't so stubborn and let me talk for once you'd know there's a but." she turns around still in his arms. face to face once again.

"now you want to talk?" she was still mad, she didn't think she was. "you didn't want to talk ten months ago when it was time to talk, you didn't want to listen to me seven months ago when i told you i had something important! why should i listen to you know?"

"because i love you! and i'm fucking sorry i was an idiot, i'm sorry i took you for granted just because the non rutine seemed fun to have and i was an idiot to think that you wouldn't leave because you were it for me." he exclaimes letting go of her waist and holding her face. "i want you to listen to me saying sorry over and over and over again until you believe me, i know i gave up on us when i shouldn't have. i should've begged you."

"you should've." she mumbled making him laugh.

"i should've begged, i thought that we'd back together before i even realized and then you left the show and you wouldn't answer my texts." his eyes watering. "brooke wouldn't tell me anything, no one would and then the grammy's presentatation showed me how much i hurted you." he takes a deep breath in.

"drew." she whispers taking his waist in her hands.

"no. then the album came out and i-i don't know how could i make you feel like this and not see it. how i didn't pay attention to you, how i didn't fight for you." a tear fell down his cheek and she cleaned it with her thumb. "you need to go track by track of it with me."

"it'll hurt to much, i see what you're saying. i see it trust me but this is all i wanted to hear months ago, i love you really love you but you fell out of love with me." she bites her lip.

"no i didn't, i could never fall out of love with you." he tries for her to see that what he says is true.

she looks at his eyes. "what do you want from me?" she let all the air in her lungs out. "i don't have anything else to give you, my love? you already had it. what else do you want?" she pleaded

"a second chance, i need you to explain every single song to me. everything. i need to know how to change if you give me a second chance to make things right."

"and if i agree to explain this to you, will you give me a minute to think about the second chance?"

"yes, yes of course." he let go of one of her cheeks to put some hair behind her ear.

"let's go to my bedroom, i don't want to talk it here."

so there they were sitting in the floor of her bedroom, with the window wide open letting the spring sunlight wash over them.

"where do you want to start?" she looks up at him from her sight set on her computer with the album almost playing.

"out of the woods." he lays his back against the bed and she does the same but against the wall across from him. the song started playing and a minute later he asked her to pause it.

I walked out, I said, "I'm setting you free"

But the monsters turned out to be just trees

When the sun came up, you were looking at me

Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods?

Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet?

"what do you mean on the monsters turned out to be just trees' when the sun came up, you were looking at me? out of the woods? in the clear?"

"that everything seemed so much worse when it was simple, the things were laid on the table and even tho we were over, the sun was still there everytime you looked at me and i couldn't get rid of the anxious sensation of not knowing if i had to leave or if i had something more to hold on to." he nods. "which one next?"

"religion, i need you to explain the whole thing." she chuckles kknowing what he thinks it is about.

"you know what it is about." he nods. "it's about sucking you off. next"

he laughs. "thank you. you really had to drop my name at wild at heart?" she giggles watching him look down at the notes in his phone with all the questions he had.

"it's a nice one, be thankful i dropped your name there and not in another one. all my love doesn't need much explanation but do you have a question?" he says no so they continue to the next one.

"outside. did you write it or zayn did?" he asks.

"it was his but he let me make a few changes on it and he liked it." she gives him a side smile. " i wrote this parts." she plays the song.

Hurts me when I think about it

Someone else being in your bed

I know I'm not so innocent

But the love I had for you was real

Hope it hurts you when you think about it

do I keep the dog or do you want him?

When I look at him I think of you

The T-shirt that you're wearing, that's my favorite

Damn, I really thought that we would make it

"you would've never offer piggy to me." they both laugh.

"i'd never she's my baby." she smiles and takes a deep breath in.

"full machine." he says.

"i don't know what to explain, i was so dependant on you that i felt i was going to die if i wasn't with you apart from the love i think that was one of the reasons on why i let things slip through us. i would've done anything you'd want me to do." she sighs and he looks down to his lap. "i can't do you're losing me."

"why?" he asks.

"i wrote it at the bathroom of mackayla's wedding and sent it to aaron." one of her producers.

"oh." he doesn't have anything more to say.

"yeah so next."

"but daddy i love him? is it about me?"

"yeah and no, it's something i had collecting dust in the back of a drawer and i found it when i moved out. i started writting it maybe a year before i met you and the rest when we started dating and everyone used to say 'you were to good to be true' but then i didn't like it to put on previous albums."

I'm having his baby

No, I'm not, but you should see your faces

"that was really about you. it was fun when we used to joke about being pregnant, madelyn hated it so much that we got her hopes up everytime." she laughs and he follows her.

when it dies down she speaks up again. "block me out, the depressive episodes. had at least two years in my notes once again collecting dust."

"who's afraid of little old me must be one of your best works sweetheart." the nickname slips past his lips.

"thank you." she plays it and stops it when drew asks her to.

"that I'll sue you if you step on my lawn, that I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong? and then I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean 'don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth'?" he looks at her.

"when i first started, i was 14 and people never had any hope in me until i started making myself in into little girl's walls when they put up the posters and my song's started to go in the radio's." she tiltes her head to the side. "i never said anything when people critized me and the day i did, almost everyone turned their back on me."

"i remember." he nods.

"they thought they'd take me down, making me feel little again but i had gone through every stage in the industry. it's about not staying shut even if they'd hate me for it." he claps at her.

"it's such a strong song, you wordered it so beautifully."

"thank you d." she smiles. she hadn't call him that in a long while.

"the smallest man who ever lived." he says and she closes her eyes.

"it's one of the most difficult things i've ever written." she plays and drew doesn't asks her to pause it until it ends.

they look at eachother.

"i-i don't know where to start." she says.

"when did you write it?" he asks.

"every time you'd ditch me for her or for the group of them. it felt so wrong to write it but i needed to get everything out of me, i felt you were making fun of me that you were using me." she bites her lip.

"i wasn't, i'd never."

"it felt like it. it felt like now that you had found someone more intresting than me, someone less boring." he interrumpts her.

"that i'd shoot you until you were dead?" she nods yes.

"but i was dead inside already, the last shot was all it would take to take me down for real."

"what the fuck did i do to you" he lays his arms on his knees and puts his head in the.

"drew."

"no y/n/n!" he looks up. "how didn't i see what i was doing to you! how can you even have me here after what i did?"

"i don't know, i guess i still love you too much." she stands up to sit next to him and lays her head on his shoulder. "don't mortify yourself."

he looks at her. "why do you have so much empathy for me?"

she shrugges her shoulders. "why wouldn't i?"

they stayed like that for a minute until she played the next one, long story short.

"it's about the bad times, i must have written it two years ago maybe. when we survive the bad things, the people we loose, the people we gain and the betray in friendship's. the mistakes we make and the guilt we feel." he kisses her head.

"so long, london." he sighs.

"i wrote it after mack's wedding." she doesn't play it. she doesn't need to. "we have had such a good time in london, maybe one of the happiest places for me but when i went back for an interview and you stayed here, something told me the wedding we used to talk about would never happen." she fight backs the tears.

"you thought i didn't want you in my future?" she nods yes.

"you weren't fighting for me anymore, you used to." they look at each other and he places a kiss in her forehead. "i can't explain the prophecy. i don't even know how i exposed myself like that."

"it's alright." he gives her a close mouth smile.

"well abba." they giggle. "it's one of my favorite's and i couldn't believe they allowed me to cover it and put it in the album. thought it would fit in."

"well it did, my mom called to say i was an idiot." she laughs.

"sorry, she called me too. i love her."

my boy only breaks his favorite toys.

he asks her to pause it.

And I'll tell you that he runs

Because he loves me.

Cause you should've seen him

When he first saw me.

Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me

"i justified what was happening, i told myself that. i told my friends that." he doesn't know what to say. "you don't have to say anything."

"i should but i'm lost at words." she looks at him.

the black dog.

"you don't have to say anything." he tolds her aand she nods.

"thank you. oh we skipped clean." she says looking at the album. "i'm not clean."

"me either." he says and looks down at her lips and looks up to her eyes again. then leans down to kiss her.

she lets him and then breaks it.

"do you want me to explain but it was fun too?"

"yeah please. espresso it's such a bop."

"sab called me to tell me they wanted to do a ft to the song after it went out and i said yes." she smiles. "it's really a fun song."

"she's obssesed with something she'll never be (me)." he laughs out loud and she does too. "you were mean with that one."

"she's lucky i didn't drop her name or said much more mean things. she could never be me."

"she'll never be." it makes her smile.

"well i can do it with a broken heart, i had shows when we broke up and i was wrecked and still performed. the show must go on." she dismisses the meaning of it all.

"written all over your face is about me?" he asks.

"yeah kinda the label didn't let me put fucking instead of loving in the song." he laughs. "what? we had a moment, fighting and fucking. that was a good time even tho we were mad at each other."

"indeed it was." they both reminiscing the time. "hit's different is a good one too."

"the fans love it. i wasn't going to put it out but someone filtrated it and they loved it so it was put on the album."

and then the one she didn't want to reach. so american.

"you thought you were in love with..." he bites his inner cheek.

"it was exciting, not love. it was new, he's older and a secret." she looks at him. "had never been with a british guy, it was fun and he called me american all the time."

now it was akward.

"thank you for going through it with me." drew says.

"thank you for being intrested." she squeezes his thigh.

"do you want to have lunch?" he tries to lighten up the mood.

"sure what do you want to eat?"

"i can go pick up something from that place you like." she smiles at his words.

"sure, i'll go pick up piggy in the mean time."

once he's gone and before leaving the house. she post's on instagram [the gang]

text. girl groupchat

maddie "what????? is he still in your house??? why did you post him????"

maddie "so you did fuck last night hahaha"

car "of course she did."

bailey "..."

and drew's phone started to blow up too.

brooke "the hell???? [instagram post.]

mom "brookie sent me this"

austin "dude!!!! i miss one reunion and what the hell happened?"

he's confused until he opens what brooke sent's him and smiles to himself.

maybe she would give him a chance.

#drew starkey #drew starkey fluff #drew starkey angst #drew starkey smut #drew starkey imagine #maybankslover #outer banks #obx #rafe cameron #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey imagines #drew starkey one shot #drew starkey one shots #drew starkey x actress!reader #drew strakey x singer!reader #drew starkey x female reader #drew starkey x y/n #so long #london

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mccardswife · 1 year ago

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You are enough

heyy! this is my first one shot so it is not the best but feel free to give any tips!

arsenal wfc x teen!reader

warnings: mentions of violence, bruise, angst, sh, a few cuss words, suicidal thoughts, protective awfc and fluff in the end. Please remind me if I have forgotten some! (don't read if you get triggered)

(not proofread so if any mistakes give me a heads up)

word count: 2144

enjoy!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Being a 16 year old professional football player is not the easiest thing in the world. Yes, you do what you love everyday but it has its up and downs. I signed for arsenal 3 months ago but I had no idea it would be that difficult. I don't feel like I belong here, all the girls on the team are truly amazing don't get me wrong, but it is so hard living up to the standards. Especially when I am me, just me and only me. I don't feel enough

After my alarm went signaling me to get ready for another day of training, the thought of going to training today dreaded me, and it has for weeks. Silence, I lay in my bed in silence just thinking of all the bad things that can happen today. If you are wondering where my parents are, the truth is. I live alone, yes, alone as a 16 year old in England. My parents has never supported me playing footy, not even when I was little. They wanted me to have a career that was meant for "girls" and not "boys", but that sounded bizarre. Football is for everyone, but they don't seem get that into their head. My parents kicked me out when they found out I signed for Arsenal, we lived in London, but since I got kicked out I had to get an apartment for myself. It was pretty hard but my best friend helped me and I am so grateful thankful for her. I have not told the team about me living alone for 6 months, they would go all protective and wanting to know why but I can't tell them, not yet. I don't want to be judged. Saying to the girls that I got kicked out of home, even thinking about it makes me feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

I lay in bed, in pain. Physically and emotionally. Last night, after I was out grocery shopping I took the metro home as always, when a man probably doubled my age walked over to me. I then realized that it was my father, he dragged me into a corner and asked me if I still was into all that "football shit". I got furious and started whisper shout at him, turned out that was not the best idea. He started going about me being a disgrace to the family, not only the family but the world, that no one is ever going to love me for playing football, and then he punched me right in my cheek. I felt thrilling pain in my face, but he grabbed my wrists hard and said in my face "You useless bitch, no one cares about you and never will".

That sentence goes through my mind over and over again. I was almost impossible to fall asleep last night, because of the pain I was in both physically and emotionally. What my father told me, got to my head and I was thinking. Maybe he was right, I am a disgrace, no one will ever love me, maybe if it would be better if I just disappeared.

Well, well. Got to get up for training and stop thinking. Seriously y/n, get your shit together...

I walked downstairs to the bathroom and got dressed and tried to cover the bruise on my cheek that now has gotten all blue, yellow and purple. It was really painful and very difficult but totally worth it when I was done and I literally could not see a damn thing. Then I did the same to the bruises on my wrists and after I tried to cover up the dark bags under my eyes but that was a bit more of a job.

Suddenly I got the urge, the painful urge. I took the hidden blade from the mirror cabinet and drawed lines on my right arm. One, two, three, four.

Then I looked at the clock. Shit, I thought. The training starts in two hours and we have breakfast together in the dining room an hour before. The metro usually took 30 minutes, I packed my bag in a hurry and left.

When I walked in to the facility I heard two voices yelling my name behind me. Lotte and Alessia walked quickly over to me. "You excited for training?" Alessia asked you. "Yes totally" I said in a lie, I think they saw that I lied because it did not look like they believed me at all. "What about you Less and Lotte?" you said to try getting the attention away from you. It seemed that it worked because they said in sync "Yes". Less and Lotte looked at each other and we giggled.

When we walked in to the dining room, everyone was there. I tried to brush off all the looks I got. Why does everyone look so suspicious today...

"Come here Y/n, sit with us", Leah said after I served myself food. Leah sat with Katie, Kim, Lia, Caitlin, Steph, Beth, Viv and Kyra. I walked nervously over to them and sat down in the seat beside Beth. They started talking and I just sat there quietly eating my food being in my thoughts until Viv said "Y/n, you've been quiet, are you good". They looked at me concerned, "Me? Yes of course Im good, just sat thinking about the upcoming training today". I lied straight through my teeth. "Okay, if you're sure. but you can talk to us though", Caitlin said. I just said a quietly thank you, and then we walked to the locker room and got ready for training.

We started doing some light jog then got into some training drills. I was already sweating, it was surprisingly very sunny outside today and I wore a long sleeve training jersey because of my scars. "Aren't you hot in that", said Jen to me. I just simply shrugged her off saying no.

I was so exhausted, my body is so tired and I really want to lay down. When we had water break I just laid down on the grass. Sweating, I rubbed my face because I was so tired.

Beth and Viv walked over worriedly, they have become my unofficial parents after my transfer to Arsenal. They looked shocked when they saw me. "What" I said in a panicked voice. "Why do you have a big black bruise on your cheek?" Beth said, "And on your wrists?" Viv said. "Is something going on at home?" Viv asked with a knowing look. "No, no of course not, why would you assume that".

After training everyone looked worried and concerned, my passes and shots got sloppier and sloppier, I was hurting more and more. When I was about to leave, Kim, Katie, Leah and Jen cornered me. With Beth and Viv looking guilty behind. They brought me into a private room and they started telling me what Beth and Viv told me. Then all of a sudden Kim said "You know, all the team has been worried and concerned for a while, I can't remember how many times the girls have repeatedly come and talked to me". I looked at her ashamed. "Why do you have bruised?" Katie asked, "I just fell" I said, the lie obvious.

I started scratching because my scars got really itchy, I really wanted to just disappear right there and then. Then Leah grabbed my right wrist softly and pulled up my sleeve, the last thing before I broke down was gasps from the girls. I started trying to make up excuses but none of them were having it, "come with us" said Beth, "We will bring you to the medical room and then we want you to tell us everything". I desperately did not want to but I knew it was no chance of me getting out of this.

When we got to the medical room they put me on one of the beds. My scars were infected, that is why they itched so damn much. Jen was cleaning up my bruises while Kim cleaned up my scars. I know the people who worked here could do it but I did not want them right now, it is bad enough that now the whole team knows.

Leah then said in her stern but soft captain voice "Now tell us everything". I tried to tell her that it was nothing. What Katie said broke me "Please babe, we only want to help you. We know it has been hard for you but please". Then I broke down again, full on shaking and crying. Desperately gasping for air.

I started telling them everything, how my parents are and that they has never supported me once for the choices I have made, that I don't feel like I belong here because I am only me... When I spit out the truth about me living alone for 3 months because my parents kicked me out and that they were abusing me for years before, I saw tears in all of the girls faces. It was a heartbreaking sight. I told them how I ran into my father last night and what he did and said to me and I started sobbing again and saying silently to myself "It is true, what he said. I am a reckless disgrace full kid".

"You are enough y/nn, I promise you babe" Viv said. All of the others agree but I could not help believing my fathers words. "Actually me and Beth have been thinking for a while, we have a spare room and big enough place for 3, and you are like our kid. I am being for real, we love you as our own family. All the team does, but we wondered if you wanted to come live with us?" Viv asked me. I was hesitant and I think Beth saw that because she said "We are not taking no for an answer". I felt a smile creep up on my face and as desperate I was trying to hide it all the others saw and started smiling too. I said to Meadema, "thank you moms". I realized what I said "shit fuck, sorry I did not mean to".

"Y/nn it is okay, you have no idea how glad that made us, you are like our kid" Beth and Viv said.

After a while of me telling them about my thoughts, how I have been feeling for the last weeks, they decided to get me into therapy. We have a therapist at the facility so we agreed to be going to her twice a week. "I am grateful for all of you, I really am but I just feel like a bother" I said quietly.

"No babe stop" Jen said, Katie walked over to me, she took her hands on my head and said "You are enough, a hundred times enough". "You are like a younger sister to me, it breaks me to see you like this, not only me but all of us. We and all the team loves you. You are the baby of the team."

"We will always protect you, and we will get your so called parents locked up." Kim said to me. "Not Viv and Beth but the other parents" Jen said in a playful tone.

"That I understand" I said with a smile of my face.

Leah asked me if she could tell the other girls and the Gaffer, she needed to anyway but it was nice she asked me. I said yes then she walked outside.

A few minutes later they all came in. Kyra, being kind of like my annoying twin ran over to me and hanged on for me for dear life in a bear hug. I started explaining to them a bit more, and reassured them that it was not their fault but my manipulative parents.

I also said that I called Viv and Beth mum and that I am moving in with them and Lessi and Laura said at the same time "about damn time". All the team broke out in laughter.

"I am sorry for not telling you but I feel a thousand times better now after telling you, I have been scared and not felt at home here for a while but telling you and knowing that I can count on you girls will help me. The whole team is kind of like my family I never got and I can't ask for more than that. I am so grateful for all of you, and I love you"

"We love you too y/nn", Leah said with the softest most heartwarming smile ever. "You are our family, blood or not you will always be family" Kim said reassuring.

"Always," Katie said

"And you are enough" the team said lovingly.

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s-awturn · 11 months ago

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Us, again || CS55

summary: Abandoned in a strange country, with no money, friends or family and a positive pregnancy test, Y/N finds herself on the brink of unprecedented chaos. There is no one she can count on, except her ex best friend, who she didn't want to have to turn to.

cw: conflict, abandonment, crying crisis and mention of an anxiety attack. Old conflict, nostalgia, separation, problem solving, relationship to be established, ex-friends to lovers. Extreme cuteness

a/n: I wanted to start something like this, and Carlos and Toto are always my favorites for angst and this plot arose especially for the grid's smooth operator. And I articulated the details of the story while reading "my tears ricochet" by @spngi and it's no secret to anyone that I'm a drama girl, so be aware that this is going to be a lot of drama, something cute and sweet, we'll see how it turns out.

a/n¹: notes: oh my god, this took so long to finish, I almost gave up when Tumblr lost everything I had ever written (I almost cried) after four attempts, three days, I finally finished it, anyway, I hope you like it, yay!

Freely inspired by Taylor Swift's "cardigan".

“I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs / The smell of smoke would hang around this long / 'Cause I knew everything when I was young / I knew I'd curse you for the longest time”

"This isn't happening, Y/N, Don't fucking fuck with me! This isn't happening!" I hear Aaron's raised voice as he walks through the hotel room, in my hands, an urgent ultrasound and a pregnancy test with a static "positive" on the test screen. "I can't be a father now!"

"I also didn't choose to be a mother now, Aaron, much less did I make this child alone!" I respond, equally upset and stand in front of him, I would never let him, or any man in the world, get above me.

"So it's decided, we will have the abortion" he says as if it were simple, and my mind spins in a huge spiral, I don't know if abortion is an option for me, much less in a strange country and in circumstances like this. "Ireland guarantees the right to abortion, we can do it today, hopefully!"

Aaron holds my arms tightly and shakes me lightly, trying to convince me. I move away from him as if I had been shocked and stop in the other corner of the suite, looking at him as if he were a stranger.

"I'm not going to have an abortion, much less in a foreign country! I cannot and will not decide this overnight, Aaron!" I speak and I see him become more exasperated and veins grow on his forehead, a sign of stress.

"You've got to be fucking kidding," he complains, and I don't like the glazed look he's giving me. "You can't decide? Y/N, fuck, we have plans, we start our trip now and you can’t decide?”

"No, we're talking about my body! Whether I carry this pregnancy forward or not, is my decision!" My voice echoes in the room and Aaron sighs, I feel a bad shiver running up my spine when I see my boyfriend's green eyes go dark.

"You're right, it's your decision, it's your body..." He rests his hands on his hips, breathing deeply "let's sleep, we'll go back to London and talk better"

I nod and change into comfortable pajamas. The test and ultrasound are forgotten on the table. All around us, the strange tension and feeling of something wrong only allow me to sleep much later than I would like. Aaron falls asleep as soon as he hits the pillow.

-- ♡ --

I wake up as the sun escapes the translucent curtains, my body hurts like I've been hit by a truck. I barely open my eyes and my intuition kicks in and I sit up so quickly that my muscles groan with pain, there is no sign of Aaron, his bags are not in their place, I jump out of bed and open the safe, I only find my passport, torn up, in fact. No sign of my cards or the money we brought for the trip.

Tears burn my eyes as the truth crashes down on my head.

Aaron abandoned me in Ireland, alone, without money and with my documents torn up, he destroyed me. I start to hyperventilate, there's no one I can ask for help, no one to rescue me, I'm alone in a country I don't even know. My boyfriend left me, alone, pregnant, without money or any fucking support.

"Son of a bitch!" I scream and collapse on the floor, crying without stopping, I should have followed my instincts, but I trusted that he would never do something like that to me, I trusted his feelings. I was such a idiot! It takes me a few minutes to recover, taking deep breaths with my left hand on my flat stomach.

"I'll find a way to get us out of this, baby, I promise" my voice shakes and I try to stop crying. "Your stupid mom will find a way, we'll be fine soon"

After forty minutes between "I'll fix this" and "Oh my God, I'm fucked", I call the hotel reception, and I have the excellent news that my stay is guaranteed for another eight days, a Since Aaron — my stupid fucking ex — we paid before we left. At least I have a guaranteed roof over my head for a week, with food and clean clothes, I wouldn't be completely homeless.

My parents passed away years ago, my friends walked away from me when I started dating Aaron, which means I'm fucking alone.

A new bout of crying chokes my throat and I'm tired of being strong, I can't believe that stupid man left me and stole my money. I feel so, so destroyed. I face the test and the ultrasound, I wanted my mother to be here, I wanted her to comfort me and tell me everything would be okay.

Five days later.

"Wow, really? One hundred and fifty euros for a new passport? I don't have that money!" my hope dies as soon as I understand how bad my situation is. "I have the police report, isn't that worth anything?"

"I can check with my superiors, but it will take at least two weeks, Miss L/N"

"Two weeks? I can't afford to stay here for two weeks, I have no money!" My voice shakes and I suppress the urge to cry.

"It's the best I can do, Miss"

"Well, thank you then..." I thank you grudgingly and hang up. It's been five days since Aaron left, in the meantime, I've sunk into so much self-pity that I'm sharing the rent with Samara. I've swallowed my pride the last few days and called some old friends, but all the calls went to voicemail, and that doesn't surprise me.

What did I expect? That they would welcome me with open arms after I turned my back on everyone? How I was deceived;

My reservation will expire in three days, and then I will literally be in the gutter of Dublin, with no chance of returning to London, all the disappointment turns my stomach and brings on the disgusting feeling of sickness, I only have time to run to the bathroom and vomit my breakfast into the toilet. I don't know if it's a symptom of pregnancy or if it's a consequence of the horrible situation I'm in. I brush my teeth and go back to the room, going straight to the suite's balcony and facing the view of the city, I hope Dublin's landscape makes me forget how bad everything is around me. Sitting on the lounge chair, looking at the azaleas on the balcony wall, she absently ran her fingers over her belly; If you asked me a few days ago if I wanted to be pregnant, my answer would have been a giant "no", but now, I feel anxious about the little things.

Looking forward to buying the baby's clothes, choosing the color of the room or making a list of names, nothing will be easy, I know, but I will make it work, even with all the difficulties and problems, I will strive to be a good mother, and a father too if necessary.

"You didn't come at a good time, little one, but I promise I'll do everything I can for you" I murmur, trying to be confident and find some way out. There are no more tears to cry, there's no more pain to suffer so I'm not going to waste any more energy on it, fuck Aaron, I'm capable of taking care of everything, I just need some time, but I'll make it. I remain on the balcony until the end of the afternoon, when the hotel reception calls me, letting me know that dinner is already served, the mention of food makes me salivate with hunger, in the same way that it shakes my stomach in previous waves of nausea. "I need energy to sort things out for us, little one, so you can let mommy keep the food down today, huh?”

I talk to my stomach as I look for my cell phone in the mess on the bed, ignoring the pieces of my passport, otherwise I would have a tantrum and be able to get to England by swimming. I greet some guests, who ask me how I am and if the baby is already giving me trouble, and they also ask me if I managed to solve the passport problem. These same guests found out about this when they found me in tears at the reception, sympathizing with the situation I was in.

"We're fine, he's already deciding what he likes to eat, and avocado toast isn't on the list" I say laughing as we go downstairs. The restaurant is not that crowded, most guests prefer to dine in local restaurants and pubs, so most of the seats were vacant, the process of serving my food and choosing the table furthest from the air conditioning takes less than ten minutes. The food on my plate is almost gone when I'm drawn to the call of an Irish sports program, they were going to rebroadcast the Monaco GP qualifying, with comments from the commentators. I don't even notice the time passing, I end up staying there in the restaurant as the guests leave and say goodbye to me, and my heart starts racing like a rocket when the camera focuses on Carlos Sainz.

"I haven't heard anything from him since... Oh, it's been so long..." I murmur, resting my chin in my hands, hoping he can get a good position. Even though I haven't been to the races for some time, I still know how things work and I also know that Monaco is a difficult circuit. I can't help but be thrilled when he gets P2, it was quite an achievement! This leads me to wonder if he still keeps the same phone number.

Can Carlos help me... I know I'm being selfish, but I have no one else to turn to, and I'm about to despair. We were friends until one of his girlfriends decided that there was no more room in Carlos' life for me, until she decided that I could no longer come between them, not that I would, I always wanted my best friend to be happy, with whoever he was, and what hurt the most was Carlos agreeing with her and cutting me out of his life. Carlos was my best friend.

"It doesn't hurt to try, I already have the 'no'" I murmur, sliding my finger across my cell phone while I look for his phone. With my heart racing, I press "call" and wait and at the height of my anxiety, I count the seconds until he answers. Thirty seconds until I hear Carlos' familiar voice.

"Hello?" He says and I can't hold back my tears, like an emotional idiot.

"Carlos?"

"Y/N? Is that really you?" He looks as surprised as I am.

"Well yes, it's me" I give a choked laugh, the tears are blocking my nose, soon I'll be exhausted. "I know we're not friends anymore, Carlos, but I need your help... I don't would bother you if it wasn't necessary"

I hear the sound of a door closing and a strong accent complaining in what I think is French.

"You would never bother me, how can I help you, cielo?"

And then I talk, I say everything that's happening, my sobs make me cry in some parts, the hormones are already in an uproar, apparently. Carlos listens to me without interrupting once, and if I know him well, I know he's messing up his hair and frowning like he always does when he's concentrating.

"I wouldn't be calling if I weren't desperate, Carlos..."

"Calm down, calm down, you did well in the place, cielo, I won't be able to go, of course, but you'll be home soon, I promise" he says, there are no signs of hesitation in his voice and It comforts me in a way I can never explain. I hear the sound of drawers opening and a sheet of paper being torn apart "give me the address of the hotel, I won't be able to go, because of the rush, but I will send my advisor to take care of everything, don't worry, bien?"

"Thank you, thank you so much! I can't even tell you how grateful I am" I speak emotionally and give the hotel address next to the phone, in case I don't answer.

"There's no need to thank me, cielo, I would never leave you helpless, never" he assures me and I feel eighteen again, sitting on the sidewalk outside my house with him, the two of us eating ice cream and talking about his season. Oh God, I missed him so much.

"Congratulations on P2, you were great" I say sincerely, Carlos is a great driver and I know how much he works every day, I don't need to be with him to know, he is very obstinate.

"Oh, did you watch it? Thanks, Y/N"

We stay silent on the line, sharing our breaths until I break.

"I don't have enough words to thank you, Carlos, but thank you, you saved me" I say, swallowing the lump that suddenly appeared in my throat. "I need to sleep now... Good luck in the race tomorrow, I'll be rooting for you"

"Thank you cielo, have a good night" he says and we remain on the call until I hang up. Carlos and I have always shared silence, staying silent has never been a problem between us. When I lock myself in my room, all the weight of that day falls on me like a stone, I take a hot shower and lie down, tormented by memories.

"You don't call me anymore, so I came to see you, your mother told me you were here" I say, entering his room, something we always did, Carlos and I always went to each other's houses.

"Well, I didn't return your call for a reason" he said and I saw Isabella, his current girlfriend come out of the bathroom, wearing one of his shirts. "We'll talk later, Y/N"

“You never call me Y/N, what’s wrong, cielo?”

"We can't be friends anymore" He says it without pity, harshly and even cruelly.

"Huh? Why? Because of Isabella?"

"Isabella has nothing to do with this" he says quickly, standing in front of his girlfriend, Isabella puts on shorts and says she will give us privacy, I don't even look at her face, keeping his eyes on Carlos. "your feelings do!"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Carlos?! My feelings? Are you crazy?

"I heard your conversation with Blanca" he confesses and I feel my heart stop, he shouldn't have... "Don't make me say, Y/N, So spare us the humiliation of having to break your heart over feelings that should never exist, because you know, we would never have anything."

I could call him names, fight him, or do anything else, but I just nodded and took off the friendship bracelet we had made last summer. A stupid symbol of our bond, which no longer exists.

"I think you're right, I hope you're immensely happy, cielo and that you can achieve everything you dream of" I leave the bracelet on his desk before leaving the room. I say goodbye to Mrs. Sainz and Blanca, Carlos' sister apologizes, she didn't know he was listening. "It's my fault, there's no need to apologize"

I said goodbye to them, aware that it would be the last time we would see each other like that, I had been accepted at a university in England and with the death of my parents, nothing kept me in Spain anymore. Except only for Carlos.

But not anymore, that was the last time I spoke to Carlos.

My heart jumps when I wake up, I feel my face wet and I confirm that just like in the memories, I cried. I really had feelings for Carlos, but I was willing to ignore them if it meant having my best friend with me, I didn't care if he was dating or anything, I just needed him, I didn't have anyone else, feelings that shouldn't have even arisen. I didn't want to ask him for help, but I knew I would never have the courage to ask Blanca, Reyes or Mr. Carlos, so I had to swallow my pride and call him.

I'm still looking at the hotel ceiling, thinking about the floodgate that Carlos opened in me, with just one phone call. I thought I was over it, that the hurt and resentment were gone. As for the mistake, I was as hurt and resentful as years ago, it still hurt as if it had been done yesterday. My daydreams are interrupted by a call from an unknown number, I answer and make the mistake of answering while yawning.

"I'm sorry, please, I just woke up" I ask before hearing the person, who laughs, I would recognize that laugh anywhere, even in a crowd. "Carlos"

"Sorry for waking you up, cielo" he says and I feel my skin itch, the nickname takes me back to good days, where everything was sweet and full of dreams.

"Relax, I literally just woke up. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, yes everything is fine, I just called to let you know that there will be a car to pick you up at one o'clock in the afternoon, you will be taken to a private flying field straight to London" he says, I hear the buzz of the pitlane in the background, lots of shouting in Italian and the uproar of the crowd. The race would start soon. "Is everything okay with you, cielo? Can you get it ready in time?"

"Yes, definitely yes, I didn't want to bother you, Carlos, especially before a race."

"Ah" he clicked his tongue, dismissing my apology "it's no big deal, I promised I would take you home and I will, there will be a car at the private airport to take you home, just give your address to the driver, and don't worry about paying anything, you only need to worry about eating and resting during the trip, as for your passport, I scheduled a time for you to get a new copy of your document, in three days, you will receive a memo on your cell phone."

My throat constricted, well here I am feeling like crying again, these hormones are still going to make me dehydrated from crying, or my tears would dry up at some point.

"You're being a guardian angel for me, Carlos, I'll never thank you enough" I murmur hoarsely, swallowing the tears.

"Oh no, no please, don't cry, you know I never know how to deal with your tears" he says and I know he's despairing, which makes me laugh and sniffle, in a strange way that I know I've never done before "I'm not doing anything much, if with all this money, I can't do something simple like take you home, what is all this for?"

"I know, thank you very, very much... I'll pack my bags and have coffee, you'll do well in this race, I know that" I say quickly and hang up before it gets awkward, or rather, weirder.

The following hours are a mess, checking in at the hotel, the journey to the runway and much of the flight are done with my mind on standby, I could only think about how betrayed I felt by Aaron's attitude, how I needed to swallow my pride and ask for help from someone I swore I wouldn't see again. The Earth turned several times until it threw me into Carlos Sainz's life once again. I sink into the armchair looking at the fluffy clouds through the window.

"I said I would find a way, little one, and we're going home now. Maybe you'll question my methods in the future, but not my results" I laugh at my own joke and I let my hands rest on my belly, I suddenly feel anxious to see it bigger, Being a mother was not a goal for the next five years, I'm not at all prepared for motherhood, but I don't know how to describe the panic that gripped my heart when Aaron suggested the interruption. I have a stable job, which allows me to work from home and a flexible schedule, I have a small apartment, but with an extra room for the baby and well, I decided to move on. I already feel very connected to the baby, and there is a break in the loneliness that I have felt for years, it is good not to feel alone.

My cell phone rings the moment I turn the key in the lock, Carlos' name flashes on the display and I answer it while trying to push my bags inside.

"The driver just told you he dropped you off at home, did everything go well? Were the flight attendants kind to you?"

"Yes, yes, everything was fine, Carlos, the flight attendants are really cute, I was treated very well, you can put your weapons away" I breathe a sigh of relief as I sit down on my sofa, finally away from all that hell I went through in Dublin.

"That's good, cielo, I've been worried about you all day"

I don't know what to answer, I don't know what Carlos expects from me after all these years, after so much distance.

"I'm glad you're home and well, cielo, I'll let you rest now"

Another time, we are silent on the call until I ask "did you win?"

“It was Charles' home race, my job was to make sure he won, but I got second place” he says, there's a certain 'job done' tone in his voice. "I'm happy with today's result"

"That's good, I'm happy for you, and for your teammate" I say sincerely.

"Thank you, that matters a lot... Anyway, rest okay? You can't sleep late anymore, take care cielo, call me for whatever you need, anything, don't hesitate" he says with such firmness that It almost makes me uncomfortable, so we hang up. I don't know if Carlos is back in my life and I don't know if I'm okay with that. It's so confusing, but I don't need to deal with it right now, I have more important things to take care of.

Almost two weeks later, I got a new passport, applied for new cards and was being monitored by an obstetrician. Luckily I didn't run into Aaron a single day, I changed the locks, I threw his things in the trash and made my transition from a committed woman to a single woman smoothly.

"What do I need to buy at the market?" I mutter as I check cupboards and fridge, licorice dangling from my lips. "milk, eggs, sugar, tomatoes and pasta... Cheese and bacon, for sure" Maybe I'll make a carbonara when I get home from the store. I had been in the middle of an Italian food fixation for days, all I wanted was pasta, tomatoes and cheese. Just when I finish making the market list, my campaign rings and I have a heart attack when I see no one other than Carlos Sainz — and all his other surnames — standing at my door.

"Carlos? What are you doing here?"

"I don't know, to be honest I don't know, but after you called me, I couldn't stop thinking about seeing you again" He says it so fast I think he's going to choke and I pull him into the apartment before the neighbors see him and decide to hold a carnival on my doorstep. He wastes a few seconds looking around, for an instant I saw my best friend there, the guy who knew everything about my life and who today, knew nothing about me anymore, big breakthrough.

"I'm sorry if you think that explains anything," I reply, looking at how lost he looks. "but again, what do you want here, Carlos?"

"I want to apologize, I was a shitty friend to you, I was cruel, I belittled your feelings, you are the most amazing and resilient person I know" he says, taking a step towards me, I don't back away, but I make it clear that he is not welcome in my personal space. "Life without you has been bad, very bad and I only realized that when I saw you, weeks ago."

"Walking away was the best thing we did, Carlos. God knows how we would have ended up if you hadn't put an end to it."

"No, it shouldn't have, it wasn't the right thing! We were left without our best friends because we didn't know how to deal with things, I didn't know"

"Carlos, you can't be best friends with the guy you're in love with, at some point I would hate you and that would be worse"

"and you didn't hate it?"

I keep quiet, because yes, I hated him for a long time, I still think I do and I don't even know why I'm trying to defend him. It must be the hormones talking.

"Yeah, yes I hated you for a long time, maybe I still hate you, but you were my best friend, I can't hate you forever"

I look at the man who was my mainstay for years, my confidant, best friend, accomplice, the guy who won my heart with gumdrops and notes in candy wrappers. The man I fell in love with and broke my heart. There is a mixture of feelings in me, hurt, pain, hope, resentment, all of it shaking my heart nonstop, I don't know what to feel.

"I don't know if I can have you around, Carlos, you were really my best friend, but you were also the guy I fell in love with and who broke my heart, I don't know if I'm ready to have you back"

He swallows, taking in what I said, and for a moment, I think he's going to give up and walk away, but he nods and straightens his posture "okay, I'm going to prove that I'm sorry, for everything, for being a shitty friend, a stupid guy, I'm going to make you forgive me and" he pauses, to emphasize everything "I'll be with you, I'll make up for all the years, all the pain, I'll deserve you, Y/N, I swear"

I don't even know what to think, my mind goes blank as I try to understand what he's up to.

"What if I don't want to?" The question escapes my mouth without permission, the filter between my brain and mouth is off, apparently. "What makes you think I might want you in my life again?"

He doesn't respond for a few minutes, I can almost see the gears in Carlos' head turning, trying to find a good answer.

"Nothing, but that's never been an impediment for me, you know"

I just stare at him, surprised by that, my mouth articulates, but no sound comes out.

"You came all the way here from Spain for this?"

"I would come from anywhere in the world"

After that there wasn't much we could say, Carlos insisted on staying and making pancakes for me, and I couldn't say no as my stomach growled like a monster at the mention of food. In an instant I was watching Carlos move everything in my kitchen, he chops strawberries and blackberries while letting the pancake batter rest for a while.

“Aaron looked for you?” He questions, putting the fruit in a bowl and only looks at me when I sigh loudly. "What? Has he been bothering you? I'll sort it out"

"What? No, no! He didn't show up"

"Then why do you look frustrated?" I watch Carlos put the frying pan on the fire and add the yeast to the dough, and then stir gently, placing small discs in the hot pan.

"I'm just tired, all the stress from the trip is still affecting my sleep..." I murmur, stealing a piece of strawberry, the smell of the pancakes increases my hunger and Carlos laughs when he hears my belly rumbling. "Don't laugh, I'm eating for two and you have no idea how much this little one likes to eat"

We enter another silent space, Carlos focused on finishing the pancakes and my mind wanders to our conversation, some time before. I'm not a hypocrite in saying that I've already forgiven Carlos, but I don't think there's still space for that kind of resentment, I'm not eighteen anymore, I'm about to be a mother, I no longer have the time or inclination to feed old grudges. And God knows how much I missed him all these years, I refused to watch any races so I wouldn't have to see him. Calling Carlos and asking for his help seems to have put all our dramas in order, It made me understand that one way or another, my life would end up intertwined with his again.

No matter how much I wanted or tried, I would never be able to completely move away from Carlos, and it's time to accept that.

"Here you go, eat it all, I don't want your baby to grow up hating me" he says and pushes over a plate full of pancakes, berries, honey and some icing sugar. A beautiful montage.

"I hope it's good, or we'll both hate you" I reply and laugh when he turns pale, I take out a generous piece and the sweet smell intoxicates me for a few seconds. I go to heaven and back when I chew the piece of pancake, the taste is light and the dough melts in my mouth, I know I can eat this for the rest of my life and be happy every day.

"Holy fucking God, this is perfect, Carlos!" I take a piece of pancake with a strawberry and feel heaven on my tongue, a moan of appreciation makes my whole body vibrate, this is perfect, damn"If you had used that to apologize, I would have definitely accepted it from the beginning."

"if I had known food was the secret, I would have come prepared" He laughs as I finish eating, nothing more is said until I finish the second helping, which Carlos was happy to serve me.

I slide my finger across the plate, picking up the traces of honey and sugar, humming as I literally wipe the plate clean. I insist that he put everything in the dishwasher and come sit with me so we can sort everything out, once and for all.

"I still can't believe you came all the way to London... You got my address from the driver and you're here, making me pancakes and everything..." I say, playing with one of the cushions while Carlos takes the armchair in front of me. I allow myself to face him, he's even more handsome than before, the trail of beard over his chiseled jaw, his thick hair in an elegant mess, Carlos is a vision of fucking paradise.

"I'm not lying, Y/N, I really want to make amends with you, in any way" he assures, and breaks the distance between us, sitting next to me while holding my hands. "You missed me so much, and when you called me crying, I realized that we missed so much from each other, I wanted you to be at my first victory with Ferrari, I wanted to see your graduation, help you move in... "

In a strange way, I'm grateful that he doesn't mention the fact that I was in love with him, not that I'm ashamed of it, but ignoring it might make us easier to get along with.

"We can try, Carlos, try to be friends again, because my goodness, I missed you so much" I confess and he laughs.

"I promise to make it worth it, cielo" he squeezes my hands, running his thumb affectionately from the back of my hand. "I won't disappoint you"

"I bet it'll be a boy," he says, stealing a spoonful of my ice cream, fast enough to avoid the hit of my spoon on his hand. "God said to share bread, you know?"

"Exactly, He said to share the bread, not my ice cream" I mumble, protecting the container with my body. Carlos has been coming to my house for weeks, always bringing food — I'm beginning to suspect that it has a direct connection to my stomach and my hunger —, gifts for the baby and books on child psychology, food introduction and everything he considers necessary to educate a child. He's been taking over my couch whenever he has time off. I dare say that I see more Carlos than my neighbors. "And why do you think it will be a boy? This is misogyny, Sainz"

He tries to steal my ice cream again and this time I slap him right in the middle of the forehead, which is effective because he moves away. "I'm not being sexist, I'm following my intuition, okay?"

"The last time we followed your intuition, we ended up in the middle of nowhere, at three in the morning in a car without gas. If it weren't for my father, you would be grounded to this day." I respond, changing the sofa, Carlos is willing to steal my ice cream, interfering with a pregnant woman's right to satisfy her desire for a sweet treat after lunch. I'm going to report him to human rights.

"But do you think it's a boy or a girl?"

"I have no idea, I still don't have that 'maternal intuition' that I've seen in the support group for solo mothers, but I'm fine with any option, I'll love it regardless of gender" I say, my right hand slides over my recently completed five-month-old belly. "I should have found out the sex at the last appointment with the obstetrician, but this little one here had his back turned, can you believe it?"

Carlos laughs, throwing his entire body back and falling onto the sofa. I just watch him laugh, being enveloped by his laughter like a fluffy blanket.

"Seriously, I didn't even know that was possible, crossing your legs, ok, but being on your back is something new" he says, still laughing and drying his tears. I just realize how close he is, When I feel your hand on my belly, the calloused palm warms my skin even with the shirt between us. My breath hitches in my throat, something new growing and It's not just the little traveler in my womb... I don't know if that could be a good thing, especially considering our history.

"Yeah, she told me to go back there in a few days, if I want to find out the gender before the sixth month, then I'll be there on Tuesday, I won't have a meeting at work and I can buy the paints" I explain, poking at the ice cream, trying to distract myself from Carlos' hand on my belly.

"I just need to be in Maranello on Saturday, so I can join you if you want" he suggests, finally moving to his end of the sofa.

"Really? I don't want to disturb you, I know race week is coming and you need to prepare" I say trying, I don't even know what I'm trying, I'm going to blame my exploding hormones.

"I can deal with that later, you need my opinion on paint colors and someone to hold your hand while you root for the business class traveler to be facing forward this time" he said, and looks at me meaningfully "that is, I am most needed here"

"Are you sure? You don't need to go"

"I would be there, even if I were playing crosswords in the office waiting room" he says, without giving me any chance for discussion.

"Okay, whoever said that is no longer here, now pass the ice cream slowly and no one gets hurt" I say and hold out my hand, waiting for the container he stole when he thought I wasn't looking. "Now"

"That's unfair," he grumbles, handing over the pot.

"I'll let you have the ice cream if you get pregnant in my place."

"You win, you can have the ice cream"

-- ♡ --

"Do you want me to come in with you?" He asks and I bite my lip to keep from laughing, Carlos is holding my bag under his shoulder. Quite a scene.

"I need someone to hold my hand, and" I look behind him "I don't see any more volunteers, so smile, you've been selected" I smile, waving my index finger as if it were a flag.

"Okay, let's confirm that my intuition is right"

"Uh-huh, of course yes, cielo" I say, entering the office.

The obstetrician doesn't need to ask any initial questions, since I was here a few days ago, so asking how I am is irrelevant. I change into that horrible hospital gown and lie down on the stretcher, Carlos looks anxious in the passenger seat and my hand grabs his so fast I don't even register it, I laugh nervously as the cold gel is spread across my bulging belly.

"Let's hope he's being an exhibitionist today" she says confidently and starts to use the device.

"How can you understand anything here, it's all blurry" he says, approaching the screen. "Where is his head?"

"Shut up, chilli" I say, but I give a nervous laugh "I don't understand anything either, so let those who do understand tell you what we're seeing", I shake his hand and receive an eager smile.

"We're lucky today, he's turned around, or rather, she" she indicates on the screen and I start crying immediately, Carlos squeezes my hand and wipes my tears. "Congratulations, you will be parents of a very strong-willed girl."

"Oh, no, no, I'm just the family friend" Carlos corrects her, but this is forgotten, given how much I'm crying. "You're crying a lot, should I be worried, cielo?"

"I-I'm fine" I sniffle crying less, I'm having a little girl, I don't even know what to say, I'm exploding like fireworks "I'm fine, really"

"I'll leave you two alone" the obstetrician leaves and I feel, cleaning the gel from my abdomen and I am hugged tightly, Carlos supports me with care and zeal, there is so much between the lines here, so much implied.

"That little girl is so lucky to be born as your daughter" he murmurs, stroking my hair gently "a little girl, damn you were right, my intuition is shit"

I press my hands to his shoulder blades so hard I feel my fingers tremble. "Thanks for coming"

"There's no place in the world I should be, cielo"

"You want me to go to the next race? Why?"

"I like having important people cheering me on there, and Charles is bothering me to meet you" he says, painting the wall lilac, he's all dirty, there's dye in his hair, and of course, he is shirtless. As long as I don't have a knife at my neck, I will never confess that the vision is messing with me. "I will take care of everything, you can stay in the same hotel as me"

"You should stop taking care of everything, or you'll have a heart attack instead of appendicitis" I murmur, Carlos insisted that I sit and watch him paint, he even brought books, chopped fruit and even Alexa to play my favorite playlist. "Seriously Charles Leclerc wants to meet me? Why?"

"I have no idea, Charles must have heard it one of the times you called me" he replies. Carlos speaks so quickly that there's no way not to be suspicious, but I give him the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure Charles will tell me why.

"Mhmm, I know... Now I'm curious to meet him too... But the trip to Budapest can be so tiring..." I murmur, peeling the pear as I watch him slide the paint roller along the wall perfectly, Carlos is meticulous and perfectionist in everything he sets out to do, so I admire the paint stains in his hair and on different parts of his body, thank God the fan is on here, otherwise I would be melting from the heat, and having him there, almost naked, doesn't help much.

“It’s not like I’m going to let you take a commercial flight to Hungary, please Y/N, I’m not that petty!” He retorts, touching up the paint on the roller while giving me a quick look "You will go with me to Budapest, on a private flight and I will leave you staying in the same hotel as me, if you are worried, I will hire a private neonatal nurse to accompany us, but I really want you to go, it's important for me to have you two there with me."

"If you insist on that—..." I try to say, but he interrupts me.

"I insist yes, and I'm glad you agreed, I was ready to start the Infallible Convincing Plan for Carlos Sainz" he says and I laugh loudly "What? Am I not convincing?"

"Persuasion isn't one of your best qualities, chilli" I mutter, picking up the folded sheet of paper from among the books he brought me "changing the subject, I listed the female names that I liked most for the baby, feel free to give your opinion, I'm quite undecided here, I have good options."

"I'm listening, I hope they are good names and none taken from the books, considering how obsessed with A Court of Roses and Thorns you are, the girl is in danger of being called Feyre" Carlos shamelessly mocks me and I throw the pear stem at him. "I'm just telling the truth, cielo, but come on, give me the options"

"You know, Ancient Egypt has been my Roman Empire for years, so I thought I would pay homage to one of the greatest queens of that civilization, none other than Cleopatra, but" I pause, aware that Carlos will want to object, so I continue quickly "I chose to shorten the name, Cleo. It's a good option, right?"

"It's a beautiful, elegant and feminine name. I like it, you have a good option" he responds, with his back to me, giving a beautiful view of his lats contracting and relaxing. Oh God, what a hell of a handsome man.

"Well, the next option is Athena, as the Greek goddess of justice, wisdom and war, I don't think I need to explain further, right?"

"It's good, but I still prefer Cleo"

"I like Margot and Elena, they are both elegant and short, I didn't think about long and complicated names, I don't want her to have problems learning to write her own name"

"It's a good justification, giving her a name that's easy to read and write... So I still prefer Cleo"

"Don't you want to hear the other options?"

"Nope, I like Cleo, it's beautiful and very meaningful, and it matches her last name, she'll love it, when she understands it"

I hadn't thought about my last name when choosing the names, so Carlos' reasoning makes sense, so I already had a name chosen.

"Alright, we have a winner, I like Cleo too, thanks for helping me choose"

"You're welcome, we are here to serve well and always serve" he makes an exaggerated bow and I laugh.

"Oh really? My kitchen faucet is dripping non-stop, can you fix it for me?" I ask ironically and Carlos wipes the sweat from his face, giving me another meaningful look.

"Of course yes, cielo, I'll sort it out as soon as I'm done here"

"I'm kidding, chilli, you don't have to worry about it"

"But not me, I'll sort it out as soon as it's over" he insists and I give up trying to make him give up, Carlos is as stubborn as a wild horse, it's no wonder he's at Ferrari. Which makes me think of something:

"I agree to go with you, but I want to meet Lewis, it's my condition" I point my index finger and Carlos looks at me, raising his eyebrow.

"Really? I need to find out what makes Lewis Hamilton so appealing to the female audience" I can't identify the feeling in his voice, and I adjust myself in the seat, stroking my protruding belly. Being pregnant isn't easy, the nausea, all the swelling and fluid retention is horrible, I was already sleeping poorly because my belly wouldn't let me find a comfortable position and of course, I've already lost all my clothes. But I don't regret for a moment having continued with the pregnancy, my little traveler is a gift, Cleo already makes my days wonderful. I observe the lilac covering the walls little by little, making her room take on shape and color, soon the furniture would be assembled.

"I think it's the voice, he has a very good voice to listen to, I could listen to hours of ASMR of him speaking" I respond, hearing Carlos mumble intelligibly. "What did you think of color? I didn't want pink because I thought it was too obvious, and I love the combination of lilac and green"

"I like it, they are very pretty shades and you chose a good brand, they don't have a strong smell and they pigment well on the wall... I'm almost done here, where do you leave the tools to fix the tap?"

"Carlos, I was joking, don't worry about it, the plumber will come on Tuesday to fix it, I'm serious" I say, hoping he will forget this story. "Don't worry, it's serious!"

He puts the rest of the paint in the can and takes the paint roller to the laundry area. I even try to help, but Carlos forces me to sit down again when he returns from the laundry area. He himself collects the newspapers from the floor and opens the windows.

"I need a shower now, can I use your bathroom?"

"Obviously, feel free, I'll order a pizza for us" I say, following him to the living room, Carlos waves and gives a quick kiss and and go to my bathroom in the suite. I see how his jeans fit well on his hips, leaving the waistband of his underwear slightly visible and God only knows how that messes with my hormones. “Y/N, you fucking need to control yourself, he’s your best friend, stop acting like a needy bitch.

"Are you Y/N? Finally! It's a pleasure to meet you, Carlos talked a lot, a lot about you!" Charles tells me, giving me a tight, loving hug. He is really very handsome and It's easy to understand why his fans are so obsessed with him, he's gorgeous. He has an adorable dimpled smile on his face and I feel shaken all of a sudden.

"He also spoke a lot about you, Charles, it's great to meet you too" I return the hug.

"I hope he said good things"

"I tell her the truth!" Carlos shouted from afar.

Soon we are surrounded by the team, who are extremely warm and kind to me, but I feel claustrophobic among so many people.

"Okay guys, give her space, please, you're making her suffocate" Carlos appears as a salvation and takes me out of the crowd, Charles follows us to the empty area of the garage. "Are you okay, cielo? Here, drink some water, it's too hot and you can't get dehydrated." He offers me a disposable cup of water and makes me sit down. "I have to talk to my mechanics now, but Charles can take you for a ride in the pitlane, if that's okay?"

"Of course, of course don't worry, you can go, we'll be fine"

"Well, take care of them, Charles"

"Relax, being with me is the same as being with God, relax cabrón"

"That's what scares me" Carlos says and kisses me quickly on the cheek, not caring what it does to me, not that he knows.

"Ready? I'm going to give you the best guided tour of the pitlane" Charles interlaces his arm in the middle and guides me through the pitlane, he is approached by a lot of people, always being extremely kind and attentive, he makes some jokes while introducing the places and some people.

"Y/N! Carlos didn't tell me you were coming!" Lando comes running towards us and hugs me too, we were already close to the Mercedes garage, one of the employees told us that Lewis was in a meeting, so I decided to wait

"It was a last minute decision, there was no way to warn you anyway" I say while Charles takes a chair from the Mercedes garage and makes me sit down.

"Why did you meet her before me?! I hear Sainz talking about her all day!"

"I live in London and I met her during his visit, so I tagged along! It's not my fault you don't live in London!" Lando retorts and I laugh at them.

"Sorry if I'm Monegasque! I didn't choose to be born in Monaco!" My laughter echoes around the room and they stop arguing, and then they laugh too, but the moment is interrupted by Lewis Fucking Hamilton. He's more impressive up close, damn it.

"It's good to finally meet Carlos' girl, you've been the talk of the paddock, he says and my cheeks burn and he hugs me too. The four of us talk for almost forty minutes, Lewis is exactly what I expected, polite, kind and attentive, he really has the aura, that aura that few people have and that made it clear why he is one of the greatest in the sport. He's really impressive.

"Let's go to the garage chérie, you need to get some rest, it's too hot for you to stay out here" Charles says as he guides me to the Ferrari garage, where Carlos is already waiting for us, Seeing him is like a cool breeze on a scorching day, he looks so good in red that wow, it hurts to remember he's leaving the Tifosi.

"How was it? Did you enjoy the ride? Did Charles treat you well?" He asks and sizes me up, but I nod dismissively and hear Charles click his tongue, offended.

"I'm fine, Charles was a perfect gentleman to me, and we met Lando on the way, it was amazing!" I say.

"That's great, cielo, let's go to my room, you need to rest, there was a lot of excitement today" He takes me to his private room and lets me rest on the bed there, I don't mind, my feet hurt so much and I wanted to get some sleep, Carlos sits on the edge and rubs my belly, he looks strange, like he's uncomfortable. "Are you okay? How is Cleo?"

"We're fine, she's great" I reply and feel her move and kick, Cleo is Carlos' biggest fan, apparently, she always moves when he speaks, loves the sound of his voice and kicks in the exact place where his hand is. She's going to be his biggest groupie, and there's no argument.

I watch him, feeling my heart beat like a fool, Carlos has been exactly what I hope he will be, a friend, a great companion, he is always in connection with me, I hate knowing that I'm falling in love with him again, that I'm entering that gray area again, putting our friendship at risk because of my stupid feelings, so I'm going to swallow whatever I feel because I'm not willing to be without my best friend again, I couldn't bear to lose him and I want him to be part of my daughter's life, of our life. So it's okay for me to stay in the friend zone if it keeps him around.

"What's bothering you, chilli? You look strange"

"I... I need to tell you something"

"Carlos, if you brought me to Budapest just to kick me out of your life, I swear to God I will run you over with your own car!" I exclaim, trying to pinch his muscular abdomen but failing, obviously.

"What? Of course not, it's nothing like that" he laughs nervously "It's something else... Well, I know this shouldn't happen, and I don't even know how to tell you this, but spending the last few months with you It's been the best thing in my life, I love spending any available time with you and Cleo, helping you with everything, this has left an impression on me and continues to leave a lasting impression on me, I'm so grateful for allowing me to be a part of this."

He stops, leaving tension in the air, making me anxious.

"What I want to say, cielo, is that my feelings have changed, I no longer feel like your friend, I'm just falling more in love with you every day, I tried to avoid it, because we are friends, but it was inevitable and when I realized it, I was already in love. I know it's not the best case scenario, and I broke your heart before, so it's okay with me if you don't reciprocate, but please, let me stay close to you, close to Cleo, I already love this little traveler, I love her so much and it hurts to imagine not being around—..."

I didn't even notice when I sat down on the bed, but I notice the exact moment my hand grabs the collar of his red t-shirt and I kiss him. As I imagined doing since I was sixteen. Carlos responds almost immediately, there is urgency, care and satisfaction in his kiss, all spiced up by the sweet taste of cinnamon. It's exactly how I always imagined it. It's sweet, strong and intense.

"If it's up to us, you'll be with us forever, cielo" I say and he breathes a sigh of relief, kissing me again while leaving his calloused hand on my belly.

"I'm going back to London now, fuck it, my little girl is coming" he says on the cell phone, I hear the sound of him moving around the room, I breathe loudly when the contraction hurts and I want to cry, but I don't.

"No, no, you're saying goodbye to Ferrari, Cleo won't like knowing that her father is abandoning the race like that" I say in one breath. "We're fine, okay? Blanca is here with me and Reyes will be here soon, please stay calm, love and promise me you will win, for us"

Carlos whimpers and I stop holding him, bursting into tears, I wanted him with me there, but I would never forgive myself if he didn't race his last race with the Maranello team, and Cleo will understand in the future. I know it will.

"Cielo... This is fucking unfair" he kicks something and I sob "I wish I was there, you need me, both of you"

"Win the race, chilli, for us!" I scream because Blanca takes the phone away from me, because I enter the operating room.

-- ♡ --

Cleo is perfect, there is nothing Aaron about her, thank heavens and she is absurdly restless, she doesn't cry, but she doesn't sit still either. I'm absurdly in love with my little traveler, ga she is beautiful, healthy and was born at exactly the same time that Carlos won the race in Abu Dhabi, that didn't give him the championship, but it was extremely important for us, because the checkered flag waved when she cried.

"She's beautiful" Blanca is standing next to the stretcher, holding my daughter's little hand while Cleo breastfeeds, still with her eyes closed. The silence of the maternity corridor is broken by quick footsteps, the door to my room is opened with force and I see Carlos there, he still looks like a mess in his Ferrari overalls, messy hair and very, very tired.

He doesn't say anything, he just walks towards us and kisses my forehead for long seconds and looks at Cleo.

"I'll leave you alone" Blanca gives a suspicious smile and leaves the room.

"Lamento llegar tarde, pequeña estrella, pero gané la carrera por ti". He says in Spanish and I melt with so much love, Cleo seems to recognize his voice and calm down. "she is beautiful, too beautiful, I'm sorry for being late, mi amor"

"It's okay, chilli, you're here at the right time" I say, grateful to smell his expensive cologne, it feels like home and gives me so much comfort. "Thanks for coming."

"There's nowhere I want to be, cielo" he murmurs, carefully I make Cleo stop breastfeeding and cover her breast with the hospital gown. "are you really okay, cielo?"

"I'm, I'm fine actually... How did you get here so fast?"

"Fred left a jet ready for me, I just did the race, got the trophy and came here as soon as I could" he says, running his finger on Cleo's cheek. "She's so beautiful, her nose is identical to yours, happily."

"Do you want to hold her?"

He looks nervous, but accepts it. Carefully, Carlos places Cleo on his lap and walks around the room, talking softly to her, it's the most adorable scene in the world, my heart fills with love as I watch them.

"Cielo, will you marry me?" He says, still looking at the baby in his lap. "I want you close to me always, I want to take care of you, of Cleo. God, I love you both so much and I can't spend another day away from you"

"Are you serious?

"Damn it! I've never been so serious in my life"

"Yes, yes, yes! There is no one better for me, no better father for Cleo" I say in tears, and he comes over, sitting next to me on the hospital gurney. We both watch Cleo sleep in his arms, she looks comfortable and happy with him, just like me.

Months later.

"Let's go see daddy, sweetheart" I say, clearing the entrance to the paddock. It was Cleo's first race since she was born, Carlos had been looking forward to this race for weeks, but didn't want to travel with her so young, so I waited for the Silverstone circuit. I'm in the process of moving to Madrid, but it's happening gradually because of the racing, the 2025 season has been unusual, Williams is finally scoring well, Carlos is having a great season so far, so I thought it was only right that we came to support his race.

Cleo babbles happily, clapping her hands as the team members greet us and joke with Cleo, my little traveler laughs to everyone. She is Miss Congeniality herself, drawing attention wherever he goes. When we finally arrive at the garage, we are greeted by the sound of an engine being tested, the mess of Netflix with the team and Carlos aside, talking to Alex as if they were two old gossips, and when he sees us, he smiles so wide it shines like the sun.

"¡Mi estrellita!" He talks loudly as he comes towards us, Cleo claps her hands and laughs, making the cute baby sounds, getting the team's attention, I don't mind seeing my little girl be his focus first, this is part of what I idealize paradise to be. Cleo laughs as Carlos kisses and tickles her, so I go to greet the team, ask James what his predictions are for the day's race and talk to Alex.

"Where's Lily? I thought I'd have company during the race" I look around, trying to find her, but I hear Alex sigh.

"She's at a golf tournament in Asia, she won't be back until Thursday" he says sadly "She wanted to come, especially since it was Cleo's first race, but she couldn't miss it..."

"Oh, and will it be broadcast? I want to root for her" I say, the two of us spent a long time talking until Carlos came to us, they are both blushing and smiling, which makes my heart skip a beat.

"Hey cutie, I loved your blue jumpsuit it suits you so much" Alex holds out his hands to her and of course my daughter goes with open arms to him, Alex takes her for a walk and sees her cats, giving me and Carlos a little time together.

"Hey cielo, Thank you for coming, it's important to have you here" he says and kisses me, wrapping his arm around my waist, keeping me close."I like this dress, any special occasions?" He says, looking me from head to toe, I try not to blush under his malicious scrutiny.

"I thought we could have dinner today after the race"

"Oh, really? I think we can request a special babysitting service from Lando and Charles... And extend our dinner to the room, what do you think?"

"Excellent! We can make things better then" I suggest, playing with the zipper on his suit.

"And how do you intend to make things better, mi cielo?" He asks quietly, and suddenly everything around us disappears, leaving just the two of us there. The air becomes thicker and my breathing is heavy with anticipation.

"A bet, if you win the race, I'm in your hands, otherwise, you'll be under my yoke, what do you think?" I suggest softly, he laughs, running his tongue over his lips as he stares at me.

"I'm in, and I'm prepared mi amor, because I'm going to be at the highest place on the podium today" He assures me and kisses me, the team calls him to run, I find Alex and Cleo in the corner of the garage, both playing with one of his kittens.

"Come on baby, let's let Uncle Alex run" I pick Cleo up and she whimpers, wanting to keep playing with the puppy. "then we play with the kitten, love, I promise" I say to to comfort her, Alex promises to leave the kitten with Cleo later. The two drivers prepare for the race and I decide to watch from Carlos' room. Cleo is not used to the noise of the cars and I don't want it to become a nuisance for her.

The whole race is full of unforeseen events and surprises, no one is really expecting Williams to perform well, but Carlos and Alex are getting everything they can out of the car, putting pressure on Lewis and Lando in the first positions, the last laps literally become a game of musical chairs, the four exchange risky overtakes, the last lap is marked by an interesting exchange and Carlos takes first place, with Lewis in second and Alex in third. Cleo and I celebrated in the pilot room until we were taken to the garage, When Carlos arrives, he is euphoric and celebrates with the team, I love seeing his joy, how well he is with Williams. He comes to us and picks Cleo up, throwing her in the air and making her laugh. I'm taken by surprise when he kisses me, amidst applause and screams from the team.

"Thank you, thank you for everything, mi amor, I love you, I love our family"

"I love you, chilli, and I know Cleo does too" I respond, leaving my face close to his and kissing him again. I never thought that my life would have such a huge turnaround and that I would end up here, once again in love with my best friend and, on top of that, being reciprocated by him. I thank each and every entity that has guided me to this moment, I thank my incredible partner, my perfect family and our wonderful family.

I watch Carlos go get his trophy, he refuses to leave Cleo in the garage and she loves being in the middle of the mess.

And I love seeing them.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

#Spotify #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz angst #carlos sainz x reader #f1 imagine #f1 #s awturn

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lokisprettygirl · 11 months ago

Text

Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)

Read Chapter 12 here// Series Masterlist

Chapter 13

Summary: Daemon finds out that he was destined for greatness but it's not the journey he is supposed to take with you.

Warning: 18+, kidnapping, assault, smut, crude language, kidn description of Statutory rape, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of child molestation, mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking

It's been a week since Daemon had rescued you from King's landing, you have had plenty of time to collect your thoughts in that warm cozy cabin of his. The dramatic change in your life, which was once so ordinary, has taken some time to comprehend. At first, all of it felt like a dream, however, as the days went by, you had come to terms with the fact that everything that has transpired was indeed real and not a product of your imagination. In just a few months your boring, mundane life has changed so drastically that it seemed surreal.

Two days after he rescued you he went back to get Caroline on your insistence, you had called her at the center pretending to be a relative and had instructed her to be at the terrace anyhow late at night, the door was barricaded but the locks were no match for Daemon's strength.

He didn't bring her back to the cabin though, when asked he simply told you that it was his special place where he came to recuperate and relax, he expressed you in clear words that the only reason he brought you along was because he wanted to share his home with you, he had been thinking about it for a while.

When you asked him whether he had the chance to go look for the book he simply shook his head in response and changed the topic altogether.

You had also been suffering through bouts of nightmares every time you fell asleep but he was there by your side, holding you close, making you feel safe, making you feel as if you were invincible around him and nothing would ever harm you again.

It was also getting harder and harder to keep your hands off each other and it's not that you didn't want to take that step further with him but a part of you always hesitated.

Things weren't exactly normal, you could pretend that you were on a vacation but the reality couldn't have been any farther, you were deemed missing and police had been looking for him because they thought he was the one to kidnap you, of course you wanted to go to the London police department and file a complaint against Viserys and Cole but Daemon convinced you otherwise, and at first you felt offended by it but then you realized that going to cops would only put him in danger since he already had a hit on his head due to the man he had hurt in the past.

“You know it's rude to snoop on other people’s belongings,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around your waist and hugged you from behind. You were admiring his book collection in the living room when your eyes fell upon the dresser below the shelf, you were about to open one of the drawers when he interrupted you.

“Where were you ?” You asked him as you turned to face him so he gave you a smile and pecked your lips.

“Went to see Caroline” he answered truthfully, making your brows perk up with curiosity.

“Mmm okay”

“Wanted to check on her well being.. nothing else” he clarified even though you didn't need a justification, not really, she was a friend and he was allowed to see her whenever he wanted.

“That's not what I..never mind”

“What's bothering you?” he asked you as he caressed your head before he leaned into you to kiss you briefly.

“Nothing I just don't like being alone here ..in the middle of the woods with animals, predators and what not-” he couldn't help but chuckle as you said that.

“Mmmm you're living with one, you realize that right?” you rolled your eyes at the statement, he was anything but a predator.

“You're not an animal.. certainly not a predator, you are a.. very special man, kind and gorgeous and so rare” you mumbled softly as you caressed his cheek, making the corner of his mouth curve into a smile. He was always shy about receiving genuine compliments, the only ones he could digest were those that were sexual in nature.

“You look good in my clothes” he murmured tenderly.

“Mmmm they're comfy but i do need to get my stuff back, I left everything behind, everything that was important to me is there in that room or I'm afraid they must have thrown it all away” you sighed so he cupped your cheeks.

“I'll get them back for you i promise”

“You shouldn't go there again”

“Someday I'd have to confront him”

“I know..it's just not safe” he chuckled as you said that.

“I can take care of myself sweetheart”

“So I'm not supposed to worry because you can take care of yourself?”

“Don't mind me, I love that you worry and that you can't live a second apart from me when I'm gone” you wanted to roll your eyes but then he wasn't wrong now was he? “They have our posters everywhere” He said to you, making you sigh in response.

“I'm officially a missing person aren't i?”

He picked you up effortlessly by the waist and walked a few steps to the side to gently put you down on the table in the living area, the gesture brought an instant rush of adrenaline.

You did look tempting in his shirt and boxers and it was getting harder and harder for him to control himself around you when you looked as if you belonged to him, the animal in him wanted to be sated and pleasured, he wanted to love you and fuck you at the same time, have your body so close to him that nothing would ever seperate him from you but he sensed your resistance everytime he was around you, he sensed your hesitation, that feeling of something holding you back, he could smell your desire for him but he also knew you weren't ready to go all the way.

“I'm on my period” you said to him as you kissed down from his jawline to his neck, it wasn't easy keeping yourself away from him but there was this lingering feeling of foreboding keeping you on edge, you felt as if something bad was about to happen to you and you didn't know how to stop feeling that way.

A moan escaped your lips as he pressed his palms below your hips and pulled you closer to him. When you woke up this morning you were surprised to find a paper bag filled with sanitary napkins, painkillers and a bunch of snacks. He knew you were about to bleed soon even before you did, his senses were intertwined with your body in a way that excited you and terrified you at the same time.

He had the ability to make you feel so important and special that it terrified you, you knew you wouldn't be able to feel that way ever again.

No man would ever be able to compare or compete.

“You think I don't know that you daft girl?” he licked on his lower lip subconsciously as his hand slid up your back and he clutched your hair between his fist, his eyes glued on your plump lips, kissing you was nothing short of an addiction for him, the longer he did it the more addicted he got to you.

“You know I'm not young enough to be addressed as a girl anymore” you chuckled as you spoke and his lips did break into a small smile.

“You'd always be my girl, little darling”

“That's cute, you're cute”

“Not the word a man likes to hear when he's hard darling”

“Mmmhmmm you're so tensed” you murmured against his mouth and he let out a lowly deep growl as you fiddled with button of his jeans.

“You're the reason”

“Mmmmhm?” you couldn't help but smile, he took his shirt off as quickly as he could while you pulled his cock out of the restraints, he then placed your other hand on his chest right where his heart was, his skin was ever so hot to the touch “Then I shall release some of that tension” you whispered in his ear as you gave him a small stroke and all you heard in response was a slight groan.

You looked down as his cock became fully erect in your hold, a flush warmed your cheek, you were still getting used to seeing a man this way, you never knew that holding a man's cock and pleasuring him could make you feel so pleased in return. He was a god amongst the men, even without the powers he owned, he was different from any other man you have ever known and you just wanted to satisfy and please a man like him. The way his cock pulsated in your grip was enough to make you wet and dripping.

“Do all cocks look this good?” you whispered and his eyes opened all wife and perplexed.

“Look at you running that filthy mouth, you couldn't even bring yourself to say the word a month before”

“You're the one corrupting me” he snickered as you said that.

“I didn't ask you to give me a handjob sweetheart” His fingers dug into your thighs as he held onto you possessively, you couldn't help but grind your hips against the table, the friction from the pad stimulated your clit almost perfectly. “The answer to your question is inconsequential because mine is the only one you'd ever get to see, and taste, and get fucked with”

And how you wished for it to be your destiny but your peaceful life with him seemed too good to be true. Two days later while cleaning you found the book stashed under the couch in the living room and when asked he barely gave you a disinterested shrug as if he didn't care to learn more about his heritage. However you did care, knowing that Daemon had been restless all his life and this book held some answers was the only motivation you needed. So you grabbed the book and his arm to drag him to the bedroom, then you both sat down in front of the study table.

“We will talk about your lying ways once we are done reading this” you glared at him so he sighed but he definitely adored it when you went all strict on him. The book seemed old but it was preserved well somehow. As you began to read you noticed that Daemon was beginning to take interest in it as well.

There was an illustration in the book that depicted the history of the dracosapiens, starting in 110 AD. It showed that the Targaryen family used to own real dragons, those majestic creatures were bonded to their ancestors since birth. As the dragons were about to go extinct, a blood ritual was performed by one of the Targaryens, and the first dracosapien of its kind was born.

This first born child was tasked with protecting the world from an inevitable threat during his lifetime and then passing the responsibility on to its offspring. The book claimed that since that time, hundreds of these creatures had been born and their duty was to protect the earth from the imminent danger that carried the ability to wipe out the majority of the population.

“I don't understand, it says the first born child is the one to carry the genes forward but i wasn't the first..i was the second son” he said to you and it confused you for a moment as well but then you realized why it had to happen this way.

“Maybe that's why he resents you so much, he must think that he should have been the one to have that honor” he hummed as you said that.

“Yeah he should have been the one” he mumbled under his breath so you placed your hand on his and disagreed.

“Perhaps the universe knew that your brother didn't deserve to have such a divine power, he is not a good person Daemon, he'd have misused it, i mean he kept the book all his life and he made you feel crazy about it, there's so much more he's hiding, he told you that your father disappeared but why would he do that? If he was the same as you then according to the scripture it was his responsibility to teach you everything about this”

Daemon sighed deeply, you always made so much sense to him and he knew he had so much to learn about his parents and especially his father. He leaned closer to kiss your cheek so you gave him a smile.

“It's kind of sexist though, just men being born as the protector of the realm” you mumbled playfully so he nodded.

“It is.. perhaps we should change that”

Your face flushed as he said that and just to hide that embarrassment you chose to roll your eyes instead even though the thought of having a family with him made you giddy.

As you flipped through the pages there was a section that sparked your interest.

“The current bearer and his mate for life would spend their days restless in their own skin until they find the other. In order to pass down the blood magic to the next bearer, the current bearer must find his soulmate in the one whose womb would serve as the collector of his seed. The right time will always bring them together in the same place. She shall be the one born with a mark on herself, a sign of a dragon's wings, for they are two halves of the same body. Only upon the union will their lost souls be find peace with each other.” your heartbeat sped as you read about the mark.

“Blimey this is utter crap -” Daemon interrupted as he rolled his eyes so you looked at him before looking down again.

“Daemon-” your eyes teared up as you turned the page and saw the sketched illustration of the said mark that is supposed to be on his soulmate “I think I have seen this mark on Carol–” he shut the book before you could even finish your words.

“Shut up okay?” he turned to you and cupped your cheeks as he leaned into you to kiss you, pouring every ounce of emotion that he felt for you. He didn't want to read any further, he didn't want some book to tell him who he was supposed to be with.

“Daemon -”

“Shhhhh don't be silly alright-” he kept interrupting you because he was afraid that you'd lean into this idea and then you'd try to push him away.

“I have no mark like that anywhere on me” your voice broke as you spoke, the reality of the situation was beginning to kick in.

“So?”

“You have a soulmate” he snickered as you said that.

“You sound crazy, you know that?”

As if everything else was completely normal about this situation. You didn't want to hurt him but if everything written in this book was correct then it was clear that it wasn't you he was supposed to meet in King's landing.

It was Caroline.

She had the wings mark on her thighs, that's what you had seen that evening when she was standing half naked on her door frame.

“This is crazy for you? You know what else sounds crazy? Your existence..but it's not..it's as real as it could be” he groaned as you said that.

“Where are you even going with this thing huh?”

“The mark..i have seen it on Caroline, it's on her thigh, perhaps you have seen it too” he let out a disgruntled sign as you said that.

“I don't care, okay?”

“How could you not care? Aren't you the least bit curious about this?” you wiped your tears, there was this sinking feeling in your gut that made you feel doomed.

“So that is it huh? You speak of it as if it's no big deal? So what now? We break up and I fuck Caroline? And all my issues would resolve magically because we were supposedly born for each other?” he asked as he stood up and began to pace the room frantically.

“I don't know what you're supposed to do with her but in the book-”

Before you could even finish your sentence he stormed towards you and slammed his fist on the table which made you flinch in response. For a moment you saw the scales appear on his face and his eyes had turned red.

He was angry and rightly so but you didn't want to fuck up his life any further then it has been already, he had suffered so much, he deserved to find peace and happiness even if it was without you.

“God damn it y/n. Am I really this easy to discard for you? Hmm?” He asked as he hovered over you, his eyes pleading with you to let it go.

“Easy? You think this is easy for me?”

“It sure looks that way. You know what? I don't want to talk about this.. you want to get the fuck out of my life ..do it..”

He stormed out of the room and you knew you had to give him time to cool down, words said in anger were hardly ever true or honest.

You needed to calm yourself as well, you didn't want him to think that this relationship and the time you had spent with each other in the past few months meant nothing to you, when it was in fact the opposite.

As you came out of the shower he was already in the bed so you quietly climbed in, he had his back turned to you so you brought your fingers up and caressed his skin slowly before you snuggled into him.

“All my life I have waited to feel something for someone, just something that would make me feel alive, that burning fire, that romance that people often spoke of, that urgent need to kiss the man you're attracted to, to be consumed by someone you're so in love with, i never thought that it existed but then I met you and I felt it all and I felt it all so quickly that it didn't even feel real at times. You think this is easy for me? Knowing that I'm not the one you're supposed to be with? That I'm not made for the only man I would ever want?”

He turned around as your voice choked on your tears and cupped your cheeks. His own eyes were teary, his skin even warmer than usual.

“You’re going to let a fucking book decide who I am supposed to be with? You're being stupid” he asked, his voice tender but desperate,

“Is it stupid though? Our thing..this..it's new, i know we have all these intense feelings at the moment but what about our future?”

“What about it?”

He huffed as he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“Ten years from now it won't be the same, and you'd resent me as I'd be the reason you're not able to fulfill your destiny ..i won't be able to give you your dragon babies-”

“I don't even like kids-”

“You don't..but that's how you feel now..in this moment-”

“So what now? Caroline is my ‘soulmate’-” he airquoted the term as he wasn't really taking it seriously and you didn't blame him “So I should be with her even though I have no such love for her?” you sat up as he said that. He wasn't really looking at the situation the same way as you.

“Don't you think it's weird that she went to that same exact center as you and was put in the room right next to you? And then she was the first person to see you in your natural form? I didn't get to see you in months but she saw you the first night she met you. And how quickly you were able to trust her, remember that? Perhaps something more would have happened if it wasn't for me..i–” there was a lump in your throat rendering you unable to speak but you knew you couldn't be this person that would held him back from being with his mate “I got between you both” he turned to you as you said that, his arms wrapped around your shoulders as he pulled you closer.

“You're breaking my heart”

“Not just yours -”

“Don't do this darling..”

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you hugged him as tightly as you could before you held onto his face and kissed him as if you were kissing him for the last time. You wanted to engrave this moment in your head, the feeling of his lips upon yours and how it left every inch of your existence ablaze because you knew you'd never be able to feel this way again. In order for Daemon to fulfill his destiny you'd have to step out of his life.

“I want to go to the cops and tell them everything, I'll tell them that you weren't the one to hurt me but that you saved me, I'll get us out of this problem” You said as you stepped off the bed as quickly as you could, you couldn't even bear to look at his face at the moment because you knew your resolve would crumble.

“What about me? What am I supposed to do without you?” he asked you, his voice no longer carried hope, it sounded broken and hopeless, reminding you of the day you had met him for the first time.

“Do what you were born to do, you wanted to learn the truth about yourself and you did but your truth is not the end of your purpose, you were born to do greater things with your gift and you have to carry your legacy forward, that's what your parents would have wanted for you…give her a chance Daemon, maybe she's all you need in your life, how would you know if you won't even try?”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Taglist

@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @daenny-t @avalyaaa @shuichiakainx

#daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x female reader #daemon targaryen x reader fluff #daemon targaryen x reader smut #non canon au #modern day au #daemon targaryen x reader angst

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whorekneecentral · 2 years ago

Text

A New Tradition

George Russell x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cheesy christmas traditions, first christmas as a married couple, matching pjs, handsy george, penetrative sex (p in v), oral (m!receiving), cream pie.

Word Count: 1,148

Author's Note: this is a short one and it's late lol, my apologize to the george girlies

merry smutmas series

You and George spend your first Christmas together and you mash together the traditions from both of your families.

Your first Christmas as a married couple was a special one.

When the two of you were dating, you bounced from place to place. Your family or his depending on the year and the holiday. Now that you were married, George suggested that the two of you spend the holidays at home, just you and him.

You agreed with his suggestion, the two of you calling your families and letting them know that from now until new years, you'd be unavailable as you'd be spending time together.

Most of the racing season, you don't get to see George. You're stuck at work and there are very few weekends that you're able to hop on a plane and go see him. When he's home from racing, he's exhausted so you don't get to go many places or do much.

It wasn't the ideal way to spend your first year as a married couple but that's life I suppose.

The holidays were a much needed break from reality; you and your husband cuddled up with nothing to do and nnwhere to be.

As a married couple does, you had old traditions and new ones.

George suggested stockings be your new tradition, seeing that neither you nor him had one in years. You got customs ones made, all your favourite places and things on there, your names stitched into the top and hung on your fireplace.

As for old traditions, your family always ordered Christmas breakfast opposed to making it. So you ordered from your favourite spot, a few minutes from the flat in London.

After breakfast, you two opened your gifts, FaceTiming your families to wish them a Merry Christmas.

The rest of the afternoon was spent lazing, you two went for a walk around the block, getting some fresh air before George started on Christmas dinner - his family tradition. He made sure to get everything done for 7pm on the dot, of course his mum on FaceTime so the two of them could cook together. That was mostly because George had no idea what he was doing. You popped in and out to help when you could but George shooed you away, assuring you he knew what he was doing.

For a first attempt, things came together quite well. He did burn the potatoes but if you look past that, it was just as good as his mum's.

A new tradition, a Christmas movie marathon topped with matching pjs.

Your lives were so hectic, you barely saw each other, let alone had time to watch a movie together without the other falling asleep.

The two of you had debated quite a bit before you settled on a pair. You wanted something fun like the Grinch and George wanted the classic flannel.

As any married couple would do, you compromised; flannel pants for George, flannel shorts for you and you both had these cheesy custom shirts that Lewis had made for you two as a joke - George's race car with the Roscoe sitting in it.

The two of you were sprawled on the couch, the tv playing quietly in the background. You tried to focus on the movie but all you could feel was George's fingers on your legs. Your husband traced patterns into your skin, his fingers wandering higher with each passing second.

"George," you mumble, his hand wiggling away from your grip as it continues its hike up your legs.

"What?" He looks over at you.

"Are you even watching the movie?"

"I've seen it a million times babe."

You roll your eyes, "yeah? So what's happening?"

George looks up at the screen, trying to make up something but he shrugs. "I don't know." He admits, making you laugh.

The man pulls you to sit up, his hands on your hips as he helps you up and over onto his lap. "How am I meant to watch the movie if I'm facing you?" You asked him, arms over his shoulder.

"I'm much better than the movie," he says, a smile on his face.

You roll your eyes yet again, playfully of course. George pulls you flush against him, his hands under your shirt. "This isn't very family friendly, George."

He pulls the shirt over your head, tossing it somewhere behind you. "Good thing there's no family here."

You lean into your husband, kissing him softly before moving to his cheek and down his jaw.

The kisses trail down his neck to his collarbone before you scoot back on his lap and begin kissing down his chest, his shirt joining yours on the floor. You follow the pattern of his freckles all the way down to his hips.

Sliding off his lap, you settle onto your knees in front of George. Your husband smiles, his knuckles rubbing along your jaw.

“You’re so pretty,” he hums, leaning down to kiss you.

Your hands slide between the two of you, undoing the knot on his pants, George lifts his hips and helps you slide them off. His eyes fixed on you as your lips wrap around his cock, his chest dropping and raising with each breath.

He can’t help but watch the way your head bobs up and down. His hand pulls your hair away from your face, letting you set the pace.

His head falls back against the couch, breathing out a string of explicits as you hollow your cheeks. “C’mere, sweetheart.” George whispers, pulls you off him slowly, savouring the feeling of your tongue sliding up the underside of his cock.

You're back on his lap now, George's hands reach under you to pull your shorts to the side. You're kissing him again, he was about to pull your panties to the side only to realize you don’t have any on. He smiles against your lips.

George lets you sink down onto his cock. Both of you letting out a satisfied sigh, your nails dig into his pale skin. The red marks on his shoulders match the nail polish on your fingers.

It’s hot, heated, and heavy.

He bucks his hips and your nails drop down from his shoulders to the scratches along his back. He lets out a groan, his face buried in the crook of his neck.

Your hand tangles in his hair, pulling his head back so you can kiss him. You kiss all over his face, his cheeks red from the blush forming on his cheeks.

He loves when you love on him like that.

“You’re so good to me,” you mumble against his cheek, rocking your hips back and forth. “Mmm there,” you breathe, chest pressed to his. Charles’s lips find your shoulder, he bites down softly when he cums, feeling you clench around him.

You're lying against your husband, his giant hand on your back. "I think your movie is over," he whispers in your ear.

You giggle, shaking your head. "That's okay.

---

taglist: @nosugarallspice @evieepepi08 @mimithepooh @koufaxx @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @topguncultleader @molliemoo3 @aisharmi @mamako23 @ac3may @lewislcver @miahgonzalez16 @books-and-netflix-pls @wibi96 @bwddermilch @pedrisgatorade @clarasenchant @sainzluvrr // @forza55 @norrisleclercf1 @allalngthewtchtower @therealcap @burningcupcakefire @stargirl36 @brettlorenzi3 @guiseppetsunoda @magnummagnussen @flippingmyshit @savrose129 @lovelytsunoda @irda12-blog @dhhdhsiavdhaj @slytheringirlthatkillpeople @f1lovers22 @toomuchdelusion @eviethetheatrefreak @faye2029 @lillians-world-is-f1 @chalando1604 @lenaxwbr @im-obsessed @potashiuhm @lcxlerc16 @enjoythebutterflies3 @lillyfootballsworld @micksmidnights @mashtonbunny @chrlsleclerc @logischeroktopus

#merry smutmas xoxo #george russell x reader #george russell #george russell smut #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 smut

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froznwater · 1 year ago

Note

im so sorry this is incredibly random but if i dont write alenoah i WILL die but i cant think of anything to write. do u have any simple ideas. ignore if not

HI!!! tysm for your ask <3 i hope you can find something to write amongst all the ideas. These are a bunch of ideas have written down in my notes/google drive/tumblr posts and have not got gotten around to. I still might at some point in time but feel free to use them. I will still do my own take if I get the time/motivation. There's simply so many, why not share and inspire some fics :)

----

General ideas:

Noah knows/learns spanish. Bonus points if Alejandro isn't aware until the perfect moment.

Alejandro thinks he can get away with flirting with Noah in spanish. Noah starts shit talking in spanish. Noah learns so he can hear all the little comments Alejandro keeps making under his breath. etc. so many possibilities.

Now that the show is over and Noah's off to college, he realizes he’s missing something in his life. Maybe it’s his friends, maybe it’s a lack of ever-looming danger, OR maybe it’s Alejandro. Who fucking knows. He’s too busy trying not to be in love with Alejandro to figure it out.

Their group project is failing, horribly. There’s one thing Noah knows for certain: Alejandro's to blame. At what point does slippery eel turn into a term of endearment?

They have never ever fallen asleep next to each other. Let alone in each other's arms. Never.

Time loop where Alejandro is stuck on the episode where Noah gets voted out and sticks himself to falling in love because he can’t let go of his pride long enough to simply let Noah stay in the game and move on.

Noah loses his contacts and starts wearing his glasses more often. Alejandro notices. Everyone notices Alejandro notices.

Alejandro and Noah team up to get their friends together (insert whatever ship you like) and end up together in the process/the other two were trying to do the same thing for them.

A commentary timeline on how Alejandro's charisma turn into exploitation, how Noah's patience turned into indifference, and how they parallel each other. (I've written a few hundred words for this one lol.)

Each thinks the other doesn't like them. Cut to third party POV that watches and witnesses them completely a mess for each other.

Noah, once voted out in I See London, learns about Alejandro's family. Who have been very vocal since the show started airing.

Exploration of how Alejandro tries really really hard. Yes, He's at the top of the class, but so is Noah. Noah who sleeps through classes and doesn't turn in homework and shows up late or simply not at all and is still right up there with him.

“I would kill to be like you. To just absorb all the information fed to me. If I were you I might actually- “(beat my brother) “Might actually what?” “I told you. I don’t want to talk about it, Noah.” - "Do you know how long I studied for that test? Hours. And you- You got a 96 with no effort at all." It was a 98. But this seems like a bad time to correct him.

Dialogue one-liners prompts i've written down:

"If we make it out of this alive, I'm going to kiss you."

“Why do I feel like I cant say no to you?”

"I know you don't actually care about me, but thank you for trying to pretend that you do." (Said by Noah is joking. Said by Alejandro is bitter.)

"You can't win against someone who has nothing to lose."(Alejandro OR Noah angst.)

Soulmate aus:

My big two: Telepathy/Mentally linked.(imagine this one as a wt rewrite omg) And Whatever you draw on yourself shows up on your soulmate. Matching tattoos.

First words on each other. (I've done this one already here. but feel free to do it as well!!)

Communicating through dreams. (If you know cardcaptor sakura; like that.)

General AUs:

Until dawn AU.

Gakuen Alice AU.

My Babysitters A Vampire AU. Zombie Apoc AU.

Harry Potter AU. Reality Dating Show AU.

Infinity Train AU!!!!!!

Veronica Mars AU!!!! (i wanna do this one ALOT noah is sooo veronica LMAO) OBLIGATORY IDEAS:

seven minutes in heaven.

wrong number.

trapped in a closet.

movie night. noah is sitting under alejandro and lol they are physically, platonically touching for awhile. (leads to finally getting together).

one gets injured, the other fixes them up in the nurses office :P.

short "prompt-ishs" i've started writing:

“What the hell is your problem, Alejandro?” And this time, the tone was so disgusted, so bitter, that something snapped, deep in Alejandro’s chest.

Fuck it.

“What’s my problem?” He asked, incredulous. “What’s my problem? You’ve got to be kidding me, Courtney. I almost died. I almost died, paralyzed and alone, and the only friend I thought I had didn’t give a single shit! The only person who cared was Noah, of all people. I quite literally come back to life and the only thing you can do is whine about your girlfriend problems.”

Courtney takes a step back.

“I was stuck in a robot for months, my legs barely work, my family moved on- actually, I don’t know if they ever actually even noticed,” He laughs, broken, “- and you have the audacity to ask me what my problem is?!”

Alejandro is over playing nice. He’s had enough.

this one is a rivals team up to get out courtney blurb

little idea about Alejandro getting into zodiacs.

moments where alejandro questions why Noah is so attractive

SEND MORE ASKS IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS ON ANY OF THESE IDEAS!!! / IF THEY HAVE ANY IDEAS OR CONCEPTS TO ADD OR EXPAND ON :)))

#alenoah #fanfic #fanfics #total drama #total drama alenoah #td alenoah #ideas #masterlist

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phanfictioncatalogue · 14 days ago

Text

Youtube Events (6) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five

a house made of cards (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: Phil sits on a patterned carpet and touches the edge of an elaborate glass coffee table and contemplates appearances. How it would look if he left early. How it would look if he left with Dan. How it looks, right now, for him not to be talking to anyone.

(vidcon 2014)

Big crowds means judging eyes (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: From their hotel room Dan and Phil can see the crowds they'll encounter at this years vidcon. In a post-coming out world, comfort is needed for the prospect of many judging eyes

Bold Move (ao3) - echoedvoices

Summary: Phil decides to make the most out of his Q & A at Vidcon 2019.

Breathe (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Phil has a nice ass, and Dan is a lucky man.

Cheers (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: Phil and Zoe have a tipsy chat in America. Phil says a bit too much

“I’m sorry you got hurt.” (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: It was such a Phil thing to do. That’s why he can’t help but laugh at himself. Their first American show of The Amazing Tour is Not on Fire, at Playlist Live, on the big freaking stage, and Phil falls right off.

A fic about clumsiness and jeans.

little comfort card (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil goes to VidCon alone. Cue separation anxiety, something Dan seems to have accounted for..

(Phil) Michael (Lester) In The Bathroom (ao3) - cheese_sandwich30

Summary: After a fight with Dan during a VidCon party, Phil hides in the bathroom

practice, perfect (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Before VidCon London, Dan helps Phil practice for his solo meet-and-greet.

proud of us (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: vidcon 2019, night one

dan and phil's hotel room

skip all the small talk (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: AU in which Dan and Phil have hated each other for years, but when Dan takes a break and comes back to return to Vidcon, the two get stuck in an elevator together, and Dan learns that maybe he doesn't hate Phil Lester like he thought he did while trapped with him.

the leather t-shirt (ao3) - classichysteria

Summary: “i remember being in a vidcon hotel and actually begging dan to get changed.”

phil hates the leather t-shirt

too much (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Dan's footsteps are soft against the thinly carpeted hotel room floor, and Phil burrows under the covers just a bit more to hide himself from the sound. He'll have to get up soon, he knows, but for a few minutes he wants to let himself sit and wallow in just how terrible the previous day had been.

Set during VidCon 2011.

what would you do (if they never found us out) (ao3) - weuspronouns

Summary: There are plenty of other YouTube duos who are just as familiar with each other, whose online presences are just as entwined, and who put with some of the same invasive shit they do. They're not special in that respect.

But Phil knows other YouTube duos — other friends — don't usually sneak into each other's hotel rooms at three in the morning.

It's Vidcon 2015 and Phil checks out after two drinks. Despite it going against their every rule, a tipsy Dan decides to visit his hotel room anyway.

With ears to see and eyes to hear (ao3) - BREAD2000yeet

Summary: Phil can't sleep after vidcon and him and dan chat until they fall asleep

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #dan and phil #phanfic #phan #masterlists #youtubeevents #youtubeevents masterlist #vidcon

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litmot-archived · 1 year ago

Text

Time Stands Still

Isaac Rhoades x Reader

Warnings: insomnia, talk of guns

Isaac suffers from insomnia.

Your heartfelt chuckle sounded through the bedroom unprompted, the vibrations of your chest reverberating against Isaac’s side. “I just remembered what I dreamed about last night,” you said, smiling to yourself.

Isaac hummed, burying his nose in your hair and inhaling your unmistakable scent. The comfort you gave him made his heart ache, and he could no longer imagine lying in this bed, living in this house without you by his side. “Oh?” he answered in a breath, curious to hear about your dream.

“Well, I was lying in bed with you, but it was somehow made of clouds,” you answered, tilting your head to look up at him and shooting him a beaming smile, “and we were floating over the city until we somehow reached England. Then we got dinner at the Rizz and took a walk in St. James Park. You fell asleep on my chest on the way back to the States while I looked at the stars.”

The description of your dream made Isaac smile, but it was accompanied by the hollow feeling that much time would pass until he would be comfortable enough to take you out, let alone to London. Too much could happen. Too many people — enemies he’d made — could rip you away from him in an instant, and he knew he would not survive losing you.

“It’s silly, I know,” you said, nuzzling your face into his neck and peppering kisses along his jaw in the way you knew made him melt. “What did you dream about?” you asked absentmindedly, ready to have Isaac tell you about something absurd, like making a three-course meal out of pickles and uncooked pasta.

He sighed, unraveling under your lips and allowing himself to relax into your touch. “I don’t remember,” he said honestly, noting your grunt of disapproval. “It’s better that way,” he added under his breath, something about the softness of the moment unwrapping the many layers of secrecy he kept around himself at all times. He had told you he trusted you countless times, but he was still working on showing it to you.

Isaac’s admission made your ears perk up, halting you mid-kiss for a moment. Patiently, you waited for him to continue.

Taking a deep breath, Isaac fought the instinct to draw up his walls again and tense. He trusted you, he did, but being vulnerable was still a novelty to him and no matter how much he wanted to lay his should bare before you, he could was still not entirely comfortable doing so.

“When I do sleep, my dreams are always nightmares. I don’t remember any other,” he admitted softly, keeping his eyes fixed on the ceiling as he felt you raise your head, undoubtedly looking at him with a compassionate expression, “I’ve grown used to them, so don't start worrying.”

“Look at me,” you whispered, and his eyes flickered down to meet yours. “I’m sorry,” you said, caressing his cheek tenderly and leaning up to place a kiss against his lips. You wanted to comfort him, but were not sure how to go about it as he looked back at you with slight amusement in his eyes.

“It’s fine,” he murmured, running his fingers through your hair and scratching slightly against your scalp, knowing how much you liked it. “They don't bother me.” You relaxed against him, sinking deeper into his chest as his gentle touch chased away all the tension in your body.

“This feels nice,” you mumbled, shifting the covers around you to make sure they were wrapped around Isaac as well before closing your eyes, surrendering to the increasing pull of sleep. You were exhausted. The work as a private investigator, while thrilling, was also draining and extremely stressful.

On the edge of sleep, you heard Isaac’s soft voice, whispering into the secure darkness of your shared bedroom, “Now I have you to chase away my nightmares. Good night, I love you.” The brush of his lips on your forehead was the last thing you felt before drifting off to sleep, leaving Isaac behind in the realm of waking.

He couldn’t sleep. Of course he couldn't.

There was never a specific reason for it, he just couldn’t, and it was extremely aggravating to have Asirel take a single glance at the dark shadows beneath his eyes and ‘tsk’ him, commanding him to take better care of himself or else. As if he wasn’t trying to.

As if he hadn’t tried everything already and then some to fight off whatever spell of wakefulness was put on him as the world around him slept. It wasn’t fair, but he had resigned himself to his fate long ago after one too many times of trying whispered remedies and magic cures that were supposed to work without fail, trust me.

They never did, and he was tired of searching for them, instead keeping his tired eyes open, staring into the darkness surrounding him until the first rays of the golden morning sun illuminated the bedroom, his thoughts going haywire through the silent night.

After lying in bed for one, two hours, he used to get up and just return to his study to work through the dull paperwork he had put off during the day with the quiet hope that it would bore him enough to fall asleep at his desk late at night. He never managed to fall asleep, but at least he got some work done.

That had become impossible to do since you began sharing his bed, using him as a pillow to keep your own nightmares at bay. You had told him that his presence made you feel safe, that the sound of his heartbeat calmed you down, and that the feeling of his arms around you had a fuzzy feeling settling in your chest, making you feel warm. He did not dare to shift away, nor loosen his secure embrace around you.

No, you were much too precious for him to let go of.

It did not help that in the dead of night, every strange noise sounded more threatening to his sleep-deprived brain than it would have been during the day. Everything felt like a threat, an imminent attack. Isaac perked up at every little noise come three o’clock in the morning, too tired to keep up the reasoning that his house was safe. He had bulletproof glass, for god’s sake.

That did not convince him though, and he spent every moment listening, waiting for the tell-tale sound of someone picking the high-security lock or smashing the windows that would halt a bullet in its path, breaking into his home. What would he do?

How fast could the intruders ascend the stairs? How much time would he have to reach for the gun in his bedside drawer? What if he didn’t notice? What if they were just too quiet for him to realize what was going on, understanding only dawning when they swung open the bedroom door? How much time would it take for him to push you away from the path of a flying bullet? He would fail.

The thought made him shiver, arms tightening around you. Isaac inhaled deeply, counting the seconds before exhaling, hoping that you could not feel his heart hammering almost painfully against his ribcage. Slowly, adamant not to wake you, he reached toward the bedside table, needing to check the security cameras.

He would spend hours staring at the screen, needing to be certain that there was nobody there, needing to make sure that you were safe with him.

In the morning, you awoke to Isaac’s arms still wrapped around you, the display showing the security cameras resting in his limp hand. You could not help but sigh, placing it back on the bedside table and intertwining your fingers with his instead.

Not daring to get up, lest you should wake him from the sleep he so rarely got, you settled on gazing at his expression. Isaac’s brows were furrowed, evidence of the nightmare plaguing him, and you traced a feather-light touch across his brow to smooth out his frown.

Seeing the shadows on his face made your heart ache, wishing he could catch at least a few hours of precious, restful sleep. You shifted slowly, placing a soft kiss under his tired eyes. "I wish I truly could chase away your nightmares," you whispered.

#sakuverse #zsakuva #isaac rhoades #isaac rhoades x reader

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live-laugh-lenney · 1 year ago

Note

No bc george would be soooooo insanely protective over his baby girl, please do a story about george being sooo protective over his little baby girl ❤️❤️

oh, absolutely!

george adores her.

and he never thought he'd love anyone as much as he loved yn... until his little girl came into the world, with a healthy set of lungs on her, in the early hours of a friday morning. he felt his heart double in size at the sight of his girlfriend holding their newborn baby, in a hospital bed on the midwifery floor of a hospital located in just outside of the centre of london, and it was a sight he never wanted to forget.

from the moment they brought her home, snoozing in her carseat and tucked beneath a blanket with her name stitched into the corner, he was careful with everything he did; from the way he held her, to the way he laid her to sleep in her cot, to the way he picked her up, to the way he fed her. he kept a watchful eye on everyone that held her to make sure they held her correctly, informing them when he wasn't happy with how her head wasn't being supported correctly or how they were being too loud around her, and he was always very weary about those wanting to get a peek at her when they were out in the city of london... he wanted to keep her safe, wanted her to be okay, and his dad instincts were in full swing as soon as they were allowed home with her.

so when she got to the age where she was walking and, just about, talking... he was even more watchful than ever. especially when her favourite people were over.

for her second birthday, they threw her a mini birthday party in their back garden. with food, drinks and enough toys and games to keep everyone entertained and happy, and the weather managed to hold out for them, making it the most perfect day to celebrate.

"please don't throw her around like last time," george warns arthur as he stood there with his hands held up in surrender, "and don't claim you can't remember a thing. she had a big egg on her head for over a week."

"that wasn't strictly my fault," arthur insists and george rolls his eyes, "it wasn't! honest."

"george, leave him alone, for goodness sake. i'm sure he's still a bit traumatised by what happened," yn states, rounding the corner with their little girl on her hip and watching as her face lit up from where arthur was standing in the entryway of their home, "who's that, sweet girl? is that uncle television?"

"i really need a new nickname," arthur says, reaching forward and taking the toddler from her mother's hip which allowed yn the chance to move around much more easily, taking the extra weight from her side, "hello, mini clarkey."

"everyone's already here, in the garden, grab a chair from the dining room because we don't have enough out there," george closes the door as the three of them make their way through the house, aromas of meat cooking as well as spices and the smell of a barbecue filling the air, "don't go mucking around on the bouncy castle with her, too. yn insisted we had it for her birthday but i'm not so sure."

"a bouncy castle? that's a nightmare waiting to happen with us lot in the garden," arthur cackles and yn smirks in his direction, "get a few drinks in us and we'll be having more fun than the birthday girl."

george disappears into the garden, leaving yn and arthur standing in the kitchen, the toddler on his hip playing with the collar of his shirt as she wriggled on his hip.

"just ignore him, he's just being protective over her. another year has flown by."

"i'm not called funcle for nothing," arthur laughs and digs his fingers into the little girl's side, laughing when she giggled back at him, "shall we go play in the garden?"

"food will be ready soon, don't wear her out too much otherwise she'll fall asleep in her dinner."

"like father, like daughter," arthur jokes and yn snickers at him, "if you need help, give me a shout." xx

#george clarkey #george clarkey imagines #george clarkey fics #george clarkey blurbs #george clarkey headcannons #george clarke #george clarke blurbs #george clarke imagines #george clarke fics #george clarke headcannons

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annaphoenix1994 · 7 months ago

Text

The Interrogation

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

»»-------¤-------««

Alejandro refused to let Fernando out of his sight since they arrived back to the ranch, the boy crying every other hour or two as he relived his traumatic experience.

Kiera lay on Simon's chest, her eyes still wide open as she too was reliving what had happened the night before. "It's not your fault." He reminded her, his eyes fighting to stay open as he was just as exhausted as she was from the day before.

"I can't help but think about what that little boy has seen," She whimpered. "He's going to have to deal with that for the rest of his life. Especially seeing that man I had to kill right in front of him-"

"Love, you're blaming yourself. That man shot at you first. You had to do what you had to do."

"I know, but he still saw it. I can't imagine the post-traumatic stress he's going to endear at such his young age."

"Me either, but he's safe now. That's all that matters. You found him like you promised." He assured her, rubbing her upper arm with his large hand, subtly pulling her closer to him as he had the sense that she was about to start crying again. It broke his heart to see her like that, but he also couldn't imagine what was going through Alejandro's head to find his son in such a traumatizing state.

Just as he'd suspected, Kiera began to cry, knowing how hard it was for her to relive it all as he felt her tears seep through his shirt. His cheek pressed against her hot forehead, letting her emotions take over as he let her cry - something she always hated to do as it made her feel vulnerable.

But she allowed herself to show her vulnerability to Simon as she knew in her heart that he wouldn't take advantage of it. "I'm here, love."

"I need to call Laswell-"

"You can in the morning. Just focus on resting right now, yeah?"

"I can't rest, Simon. Not like this."

"Do you want me to put on a film to keep your mind off things?"

"I don't think that'll help, but we can try." She sighed.

"If we were at my flat, I know exactly what could help."

"What's that?"

"Do you like motorcycles?"

"I mean... I've never driven one, but they seem fun."

He smirked, "I know the first thing on my list to do with you when we get there."

"Oh, so you've already made a list?" She giggled.

He knew he was helping her keep her mind off of yesterday's events by keeping her occupied with another conversation. Well, at least he hoped it was helping. He knew it helped Soap when he would tell silly jokes over the comms while he was alone on a mission or anxious. Simon had always been well when it came to keeping himself calm. As for Soap, he was the opposite.

"Possibly," He shrugged. "We'll land in London and spend a few days there. Then we'll go to Manchester and I'll show you the shit hole I came from."

"Don't talk like that, Simon." She frowned.

"It's true. My life was fucked up the minute I could walk."

She wanted to ask him why, but she knew he would avoid it. Just give it time, Kiera.

"I doubt that, Simon-"

"If you only knew, love." He huffed, his tone providing a fair warning to not doubt it again. Instead of letting his frustration peak, he exhaled heavily from his nose, pulling her closer before pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, reminding himself that if he were to seem hateful to her again, she might leave with a cold shoulder like before.

"Well, maybe someday you can fill me in as to why, babe."

"Someday, but not right now," He huffed, glancing over at the clock to see that it was reading a quarter until one a.m. "You need to sleep. I'm going to make you some tea."

"Tea?" She giggled, feeling him sit up in the bed and stand next to it.

"You'll be asleep shortly after drinking it. All you have to do is trust me."

After a few minutes, he returned to the bedroom with two mugs of chamomile tea - something his mother always made for him when he was restless or under the weather. As best as he could remember, it always helped.

"What is this?" She asked, sitting up in the bed and accepting the mug from his hand.

"Chamomile tea, love. It'll help you relax and fall asleep. My mum made this for me when I was young and when I'd come home between tours. Helps if you're sick, too."

"Thank you," She said, watching him nod as he sat on the edge of the bed, drinking the tea as well, eager to get rest of his own, but was sure she got rest before he did as he had vowed from day one to always put her first. With anything. Of course, if he were to get technical, putting her first applied to everything else except for combat or anything of dangerous nature.

He was surprised she had finished the tea before he did, moving to get up to take the mug to the kitchen before Simon stopped her, finishing the last of his tea as he reached for her empty mug, taking it into the kitchen to rinse them out and put them in the strainer before returning to the bedroom, counting down the minutes before the tea took its toll on the pair of them.

Before he had returned to lay on the bed, he removed his shirt and tossed it to lay on the nearby chair, breathing a chuckle as she had seemed to already make herself comfortable by turning on her side, her back facing him before he joined her, wrapping his left arm around her waist and nestling his right just below her head, the pillow separating his arm and her head as he spooned her, placing a submissive kiss behind her ear, thankful that her breathing had slowed down to a comfortable rhythm instead of an anxious one. "Already taking its toll on you, love?" He whispered.

"I hope so." She murmured.

"It will. Just give it a bit."

Instead of replying, she subtly nodded as he adjusted the weighted blanket over her hips. He honestly hated the restraining feeling of it, so it always made it a point to cover up with the regular sheets to avoid the feeling of being claustrophobic. He didn't know why she liked being under the weighted blanket so much, but he was also happy that she appreciated its warmth as it was one of her favorite gifts he had gotten her for Christmas.

She hummed simply in reply, enjoying his comforting touch as she let herself relax and eventually falling asleep, Simon not being too far behind her.

»»-------¤-------««

Simon didn't beat her to breakfast the next morning. Instead, he was the one to awake to the smell of breakfast from the kitchen once his eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning," She smiled at him, putting ice in her coffee before her gesture followed by creamer and a dash of vanilla syrup. Why do you dress it up that much? It's just coffee, he thought as he was desperate to understand why women loved iced coffee so much. As long as she doesn't bite my head off, she can have whatever she wants. "How'd you sleep?"

"Better than I deserve," He chuckled, moving slowly as he still fought sleep to kiss the top of her head when he met her at the stove. "That tea seemed to work for you, love. You fell asleep fast."

"Oh, hush, you deserve to sleep good, babe. You're eating an American breakfast today - you need to eat a lot to last throughout today."

He chuckled as he leant against the counter, "Why's that? What have you got planned today?"

"I need to meet Sheriff Richards at the station. I'm interrogating that deputy of his that was contacting Malcolm and find out where Shepherd is."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"If you want to. You know I never mind the company."

"Good. I'd rather watch you interrogate a grown man then ride a horse." He admitted.

"I'm the opposite. I'd ride a horse every day if I could."

"I don't know how you do it," He said, watching her take a plate from the cabinet before putting the hot eggs on it. "Although if you feel up for it, we can go for a ride after we're done at the station?"

"Really?"

"Of course. You haven't ridden in a while and it makes you happy."

She smiled at his encouraging words, taking him up on it as she missed riding her horse just as much as he missed taking out his motorcycle. "I'll take you up on that. I'm going to go by the guesthouse and check in on Fernando. I hope he was able to get some rest last night."

"I'm sure Alejandro made sure of it."

After the couple finished their breakfast, they dressed for what was hopefully a short day's work, they went by the guesthouse to check on Alejandro and Fernando, seeing a relieved and nearly relaxed expression on Alejandro's face as he joined Price on the front porch for coffee. "How's he doing?" Kiera asked the concern father.

"Already woke up with a few nightmares," Alejandro sighed, looking down at his mug. "He's been asleep for about an hour with no issues."

"Good. I can have a trauma specialist here in a day if you decide you want one."

"That might be a good idea, I'm afraid."

"Okay. I'll call and let her know," She nodded. "Oh, if you want, I can bring over some of that chamomile tea Simon made us last night. It's supposed to help you sleep."

"Oh, yeah," He nodded. "Thank you."

"Not a problem." She smiled.

"Where're you two off to today?" Price asked, lighting a cigar.

"I have to go to meet the Sheriff at the station and question the deputy that had been keeping in touch with Malcolm. I'm going to find out where Shepherd is."

"More like antagonize." Simon added.

"Ah. Well, let me know what you find out. I'd love to have a chance to shoot that bastard."

"I'm sure we all do." Price chuckled, releasing a cloud of smoke.

"We'll check back in after we get back. I'm glad he's finally resting-" Kiera smiled, the happy gesture fading almost as quick as it appeared after hearing a loud wail from inside the house. Fernando had woken up with another nightmare, screaming nearly to the top of his lungs.

Alejandro sat his mug aside, rushing into the house to tend to his son as Price leant forward to rest his elbows on his knees, sighing heavily as Kiera fought the urge to cry. "I'm going to call the specialist," She told Price, Simon noticing the uncomfortable sway of her hips and furrow of her brows as she suffered through what seemed to be an intense cramp. "Tell Alejandro I'll have the specialist here in the morning."

"I will," Price nodded, reassuring her with a weak smile. "Thank you."

»»-------¤-------««

Once at the police station, both Kiera and Simon were met by Sheriff Richards and his deputy Shahan as well as accompanied by another deputy whose demeanor showed to be obvious that he was new to the program. Taking notice of how this new deputy's eyes looked over Kiera, Simon kept a sharp glare on him as a primal warning to do nothing more than look, although a part of him wanted to give him a reason to mop the floor with the young man, but the other part of him found it more amusing - as well as arousing - to watch Kiera do it, proud of his woman for scaring a man more than he ever could unless it meant battle.

"Thanks for coming," Richards nodded to her, glancing at Simon as he stood securely behind her, hating how every pair of pants she wore shaped her rear perfectly, enticing enough for any man to look at. He made it a priority to hide that part of her from any set of primal eyes aside from his own.

He was possessive to an extent, but when it came to her openly ignoring a man's admirative gaze, knowing she could handle herself, he couldn't help but try to secure that part of her with his own dominance, knowing that when it came down to a point where she couldn't defend herself, he wouldn't be far.

"My team went through his phone. He had been contacting Malcolm for a few weeks. He's in the interrogation room. This way."

"When I get my evidence, he will need to be charged for harboring a fugitive as well as obstruction of justice."

"I agree, but we will need to get enough evidence on him and have him face a judge-"

"I know this, Richards." She scoffed, walking alongside him down the hall as Shahan broke off to tend to his other duties and the recruiting officer following them with not only a gleam in his eye towards her, but his own curiosity concerning one of his own former coworkers.

"Well, there's eyes and ears everywhere here, Kiera. I have a job to follow."

"So do I," She replied, her gaze stark as her face fought off another cramp as she stared at Dylan through the dual-sided glass, watching him trace the rim of his mug with his index finger, the cuffs around his wrists clanking with every move of his arms. "When I get my answers out of him, I'll come and find you."

"I was just about to dismiss myself," He sighed, knowing her version of "getting answers" didn't consist of a polite negotiation. "I can't charge a crime unless I see one."

"Wise man." She smirked, watching him open the door for her as Simon and the recruit watched her through the two-way mirror, Simon's arms crossing over his chest as he stood a foot back from the recruit, studying him as he stared at Kiera in awe. There was no denying that she was attractive. Hell, I was the same way when I first saw her, kid, but she's not who you need to be worried about, he thought, saying his thoughts within his head exactly how he were to say them if he were to need to be more intimidating than he already was, irritated that the recruit wasn't catching on to Simon's intimidating presence as he was too distracted with the woman in front of him - Simon's woman. He grimaced as he watched him take another glance at her rear, exhaling heavily while the recruit seemed to be too oblivious to assume that Simon and Kiera weren't a couple, but partners in their line of work.

In comparison to how Simon first saw her, not once did he look at her sexually like this young man was - looking at her as if she were a mare and ready to take advantage of her feministic nature, unaware that he needed humbling of his own by crossing her the wrong way. Simon looked at her for the true beauty that she was: a woman fighting her own insecurities but fighting her enemies even harder. How she handled business by being rough and dominant, but soft and vulnerable around him as it was in her nature to nurture and show compassion for the man that provided her consistent reassurance, appreciation, and protection. He knew it was coming. And quite frankly, he was looking forward to it. He loved watching her intimidate someone, especially another man and putting him in his place when he deserved it. She's a lot of woman to handle. Not that you'll have a chance.

Dylan shuttered when she entered the room, his anger boiling as he knew he had to fight for dominance when around her, his pride altering to a harsh stop as she always had the harder punch and quick wit. He watched as she stood in front of him, refusing to take the seat across from him as her arms crossed, "Looks like you'll be in here for a long time."

"Not if I'm willing to negotiate." He retorted.

"Negotiate, huh?" She scoffed. "Is that so? What's makes you think you'll have a free ticket out of here?"

"Because I have what you want."

"You do. And there's two ways I can get it."

"Do tell." He mocked.

"One, I can negotiate and ask you these questions nicely. Or two, we can do this the hard way."

He smirked, "I prefer doing things the hard way."

Her eyes glanced down to the hot mug of coffee he had on the table, the steam enticing her plan of scorching him before her eyes glanced to his cuffs. "I was hoping you'd say that."

"Kiera." Simon warned from the other side of the glass, his accent heavily rolling off his tongue and his tone sounding like a scold as he watched her open her arms in defense.

"What? He wants to do things my way, so that's what I'm going to do. Have that deputy hand me the keys to his cuffs."

"On my way!" The deputy answered, quick to follow her directions as her intimidating persona made him nearly uncomfortably hard - the female inmates having no chance against her skills as a federal agent and not as pretty.

"Fucking Christ," Simon grumbled, rushing to stop the deputy in his tracks by grasping the handle of the door. "No."

"She asked, sir."

"And I'm saying no," He retorted, feeling her open the door and watching her mischievous smile fade. "You're not doing this." He told her, knowing that whatever uneasy pain she had been feeling the last couple of days as well as her injuries from the explosion still healing, he began to grow rather irritated that her constant delay in her healing phase was halted again and again by her unhealthy urge to fight.

Her brow arched at him before she scoffed, "Yeah? And what would you do if you had someone in front of you that knew where Shepherd was, and they weren't telling you when you asked nicely once?"

He huffed.

"Exactly," She scorned, reaching by him to retrieve the keys for the handcuffs from the deputy, keeping her eyes on Simon before she shut the door knowing that Simon would do the exact same of what she was about to do, however he was more blunt than she was, knowing he wouldn't give Dylan the opportunity to explain himself. She reached over to unlock the restraints on Dylan's chair, watching them fall to the table before she tossed the keys behind her shoulder. "Since you want it your way so desperately, I'm going to ask one more time politely: where can I find Shepherd?"

Dylan shrugged, "Don't know what you're talking about."

"One more chance as it's my last fight for a nice negotiation." She grinned, her brows arching.

"I thought you didn't negotiate."

"Not anymore." She grunted, reaching over to grasp the mug of hot coffee, throwing it in Dylan's face before taking the metal table and flipping it towards him, using her foot to keep nudging it forward as it knocked Dylan off balance in his chair when he went to stand up, falling to his back as she reached to pick up the pair of handcuffs, clasping them shut before twisting a cuff around her hand, making a pair of makeshift brass knuckles.

She walked around the table, stepping over him after she had grasped the collar of his shirt, her badge clasped to her belt gleaming from the overhead light as she thrust the cuff into his cheek, pleased to hear him gasp as blood decorated his cheek. "I might be nice and give you another chance." She shouted after hitting him again in the jaw as her foot moved to press against his stomach, stepping down with her weight to get his attention.

"What if I don't?"

"Sounds familiar," She recalled, remembering Isaac saying the same thing to her. "I guess I won't give you a fighting chance, then."

Her foot moved to his groin, pressing it together against himself as he shrieked in pain, his hand desperate to knock her off balance while his other reached to his face for defense as she continued her assault.

"Kiera, I think you've made your point." Simon huffed, now opening the door into the interrogation room.

"I don't think so," She shook her head. "I feel like I need to ask him again for the third time before his teeth are knocked loose."

She delivered another hard thrust at his cheek, hearing him wince in pain before folding. "Okay! Okay!" He shouted. "Border of Montana and Wy-Wyoming. He's holed up there."

"That's not a good enough answer." She hissed, raising her fist up again as the makeshift brass knuckles were tinted with crimson.

"It's a place called Six Point Cabin."

"I don't believe you."

"Fucking look it up! It used to be a tourist attraction before the state bought the land and condemned the house and used the land around it to make a park. Black Star Militia is who runs it - that's where he is."

"Why is he being housed by some militia?"

"I-Isaac knew them. They're a group of men he met in Russia. H-He smuggled them over here under fake names and made a group and promised government protection."

"How do you know all of this, then? Are you a part of this said group?"

"No! I got in deep with both Isaac and Malcolm. Owed them too much money and couldn't pay it back," He winced. "I know that Shepherd ran a Black Bag Operation at some point. Something about missiles-"

"So, you knew too much, and they threatened to take you out if you told?"

He nodded, closing his eyes.

"We're in the same boat," She chuckled, releasing his grasp on his collar, watching his chest rise and fall as he took heavy breaths. "Except you won't have to worry about being taken out."

"W-Why?"

She knelt next to him, her voice low and bitterly intimidating, "Because I already have it taken care of."

"Really?"

"You won't have to worry about your debts anymore, let's just say that."

She then walked towards the door, walking past Simon after she told him she had all of the information she needed to proceed with her investigation, Simon standing in the doorway to take a final look at Dylan before following her, the deputy between Kiera and Simon, taking the opportunity to watch her walk in front of him, his tongue peering between his lips. That was fucking hot, he sighed to himself, a part of him wishing she would handle him like that in bed. He felt Simon's presence behind him as they walked, but he didn't pay any attention as Kiera picked up on his sexual gaze towards her. They heard her huff before she turned around, the deputy gulping as he knew he was about to be embarrassed.

"If you're going to look, at least be man enough to stare," She clenched her jaw. "Or be man enough to tell my husband that you're looking at his wife with ill intentions."

Simon's heart fluttered after hearing her address him as her husband. Although it wasn't true - yet - he was more than amused to see the deputy's face flush with shame and embarrassment. "I-I'm sorry, ma'am-"

"Don't say sorry to me," She scoffed. "Tell my husband that."

Simon watched as the young man forced himself to face him, his stature coming closure to Kiera's stature than his own, Simon able to easily tower over him. "I don't think that's a good idea, mate." He warned as he moved to walk behind her, effortlessly blocking the deputy's view if he had the nerve to try and look at her again.

A smirk plastered over Simon's face, knowing he had not only successfully blocked the young man's view of his partner, but established that Kiera and Simon were not partners in work, but lovers, Simon knowing that card present was enough to eat at the young man's ego, leaving the young man behind as they turned the corner, Simon glancing at him over his shoulder before he playfully tapped Kiera's rear in front of him as if he were rubbing it in his face that the deputy had absolutely no chance.

"Husband, yeah?" He asked her when they exited the building.

"Sounded good, didn't it?" She giggled, oblivious to his future plans when it came to their relationship.

"Very good."

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